I don't forget Thanksgiving, nor do I dismiss it. Yesterday I called Grams to get the recipe for her beans {as Buba made a special request} and we both realized why, for the last several years, this holiday in particular has been so difficult. You see, Uncle Mike was always around for Thanksgiving. We didn't get him at Christmas or on birthdays. We were out there once every other year to help him with the car cleaning and to have him sing his songs in his big houses in California. But he came home, to the Lake, every year at Thanksgiving. Yes, work is what brought him and took him early Friday morning each year. But he was there, throwing the football with us, laughing at the ridiculous jokes we created, asking me to iron his jeans, smiling with a look of love as I divulged my life plans to him. He's not home for Thanksgiving, he hasn't been for six years now. There are still times when I find myself speaking aloud to him, asking questions or venting. I am certain during the moments I am filled with unrelenting passion for a project or find myself 'manipulating' {not a BAD thing as he taught me}a situation with finesse he is there, watching and perhaps pushing me. Whenever I hold Cass' hand or watch Cowboy catch a football I say a little prayer that they keep the good parts of their father. When I laugh with Robs at ridiculous hours of the morning over situations we've discussed for years a part of my heart hopes that she knows he is laughing with us. I miss him.
In spite of this ache, I love tomorrow. I love the warm memories it cultivates. I love the laughter that cascades into December and offers the perfect prologue to Christmas. I love the smells that linger. I love the football games. I love the hours of preparation with company that judges aloud but loves without question. I love the conversation around the table. I love the quiet evening with pianos being played, voices singing together (some louder than others), children laughing in 'play rooms' and Gramps' snore underneath it all.
I have much to be grateful for, many reasons to wake up smiling and sleep soundly each night. *Gdoc with Ace *Bleu working steadily *Run-away-weekends *Adam's reminders of who I get to be *Cuddly Saturday nights *Being Gramps' favorite *Uncle living close *Being surrounded by the mountains while dreaming of the Lake *Guitar serenades *Holidays with Pip *Train Blanket *Scents that throw me back ten years *Grams' Friday Calls *Uncle Matt coming home from Iraq in a month *Jacob's random responses *Brothers' hard work ethics *Roommates Boyfriends being gentlemen *Mom and Dad being steady as the sun *Work being so accommodating and generous *Laughter that makes the stomach ache *Hair that can change colors and still look incredible *Finding a love for cooking *Happiness and success in marriages *Bishop that listens *Freebees *Climbing up the stairs to bed *Advil *Letters *Whiteboarding life *Girls Nights *Favorites *Nail Polish *Blue eyes *Morning texts *Aunts teachings and patience *Clean house
I am grateful to Papa and Mom for their constant reminders of what truly matters in this life. I don't remember a time in my life when our doors weren't open to someone who had lost their way. Not only do they provide, with their meager incomes, physically for the lost but also emotionally and spiritually. They offer a foundation that is steady and unchanging, that found in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. They bare testimony each day of truth that guides them. They unabashedly stand for goodness each day. And again, this year, they take in another. Offering someone else their home, their time, their love.
I am grateful for the moments and the memories ...
"Moments are the molecules that make up eternity."
-Elder Neal A. Maxwell
Happy Thanksgiving.
