I don't have millions of dollars in the bank. I don't have all of the answers {contrary to what I may tell you}. Mercy, I can't complete a Rubik Cube on my own {yet}. But what I do have I am grateful for and I realize, as I sit here in this exact moment, that is more than enough to bring great happiness.
My people are about the world doing good things. Sometimes I ache for them to not be so vital to others and grand causes, I'd rather have them in my sight, in my kitchen, lounging on my couch, or driving around in Bleu with me. Then the girl who has plans and tasks of her own to change the world realizes they are exactly where they need to be. And this is not the world of twenty years ago or ten years ago. The parentals, halfway across the world, are leaving voicemails with a 'call back when you can' message with an understanding that I will call back without worrying about international calling charges or even time difference (the benefit of a Papa/Daughter Duo with odd sleeping habits). I remember when 9-11 happened. As a freshman at USU, away from everyone I knew but Steve/Dave/Brit, I wanted to be sure all of my people of the time were okay. So many busy signals. I didn't have a cell phone so the land line, shared with five other roommates on that horrific day, was all we had. Adam was in Ecuador. I think it took him a day a half to get back to my email to tell me he was just fine down there. Now, something happens, middle of the night or mid day, I send that text or make that call and within seconds or minutes safety is confirmed, likely due to the fact that my 'go to' humans know that I'm a bit of an Anxious Annie and if it takes any longer I'll start calling the cops. I hear from my people, that is happy.
The last little while has found me in Vegas, Cancun, Chicago, and shortly in St. George and CA. It has been perfect. Life is happy when you hear SpaceJam being played from across the lacrosse field in Vegas and the guys are killing the other team. Life is happy hearing Uncle pray. Life is happy when sister brings BIL home for the very first time. Life is happy when your view is sand and a never ending ocean or snow and a never ending Lake. Life is happy walking into 'my' theater and having it smell the exact same as it did the first time I walked in twenty years ago and having Richard look the exact same. Life is happy when you make your third trip to the Taco place in 24 hours. Life is happy when all that is on your todo list is sing with your Grams around the piano or talk to Gramps about Masonry or his childhood. Life is happy when the countdown texts come through. Life is happy when you crawl beneath the covers with voices you've known for an eternity speaking softly above you. Life is happy curling up with my dog on the carpet in Grams' newly painted family room as Buba speaks math to himself. Life is happy hearing Gramps pray. Life is happy laying out on the roof or on the hammock or at the pool or at the beach. Life is happy being 4x layered to only have a fire going and two blankets over you as you ask Grams to make her potato salad. Life is happy listening to Buba and Grams discuss the world and its problems and solve them all. Life is happy reading with Girlfriend and Cowboy as we crowd into one bed for the night {in spite of their kicking habits} because we don't want to leave one another. Life is happy.
I live in a new ward. I'm meeting some new people. I certainly contemplated putting Kate on my GET TO KNOW YOU sheet rather than "Kasi, pronounced KayCee/KC/Kacey/Kasey" as I normally do. Knowing that my parents would likely be meeting humans from this ward as they return in December and my relocation no longer seems to be happening I stuck with the standard. But to be clear, Kate makes much more sense and is much easier to pronounce than Kasi. I've digressed, to be sure. A mingle post the block of meetings on Sunday led to a conversation, the kind I love {where two people discuss, give and take, learn ... not simply parallel talk}, with gorgeous eyes. It was simple and happy. Evening last I ventured to the Jazz game with four girls who I didn't know from Eve prior to getting out of my car for FHE. I took lots of deep breaths and dove in head first. I attempted the Papa/Sherrie method of simple kindness. As it would turn out that leads to a simple evening of laughter and new friends, a simple happy.
This morning the inbox was full and the phone began to ring before seven. This is my job. I contemplated getting ready and going into the office, to the corner with the window as I would need to relocate for the day. But after the second call, ending at 704, I decided to stay in my pajamas and work from home. I laughed with my guy in Ohio about the voices he was hearing in the background, not ESPN like last week but rather the political analyst out in DC. My Grand Rapids friend attempted to keep me on the phone long enough to get my Chicago lisp to come out of me. And I managed to close business, build a marketing plan, and quiet the frustrated partner in my day. I smiled throughout it all and in the simplest of ways was happy, in my yoga pants.
Tonight I went to go see a slew of my dear friends in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. It was a fluff show, no deep question lingering on your mind as you drive home. It was darling. And watching my friends perform was delightful. They were happy, even sick and tired, they were enjoying themselves. They were playing parts but I fell in love with each of them as my people a little bit more. It took me back to the days of 16 performances of Drowsy {I don't think I'm exaggerating that number but if I am its only by a few}. Life was complicated at that time, I didn't know my up from my down and the comfort of familiar and loving faces in roles that didn't make you think brought my feet back to the ground somehow, if only for two hours. It was simple, it was happy.
As I pulled up my street this evening, ignoring the clock and the almost-thirty-year-old-voice in my head telling me to rush inside and hop in bed, I looked up. There are stars out there, so many beautiful stars. I got out of Bleu and stood there, looking up. My mind raced back to those nights in Chelan, driving up the canyon to the creepy house {seriously, someone was killed there ... or I just bought into that story} that somehow they had sister missionaries living in. No matter the hour we drove up that windy road we slowed down, often stopping, to just look up and see the endless sky. It was simple and quiet, it was happy.
What I'm trying to say is I have a good life. I'm grateful for the lessons I've learned in recent months as, without doubt, they have led me to remember just how good things are. The sun rises over the mountains are a different kind of beautiful than the sun rising over the ocean in Cancun. The sun rising over the ocean in Cancun is a different kind of beautiful than the sun rising over Lake Michigan as I sit on my rock at Gramps' place. But beautiful and breathtaking they each are. My life may not look exactly like yours but each has happiness, not merely to be found but to be lived and relished.
And so now, as it approaches 200 this star filled night ... maybe one of my people called ... I say goodnight. With a smile on my face as I am happy. I hope you are happy too my friend.
****Yes ~ this is a sappy post but its where I am. The next will likely be about Prop 8 or some other huge controversy so I thought I'd butter ya'll up****
