My Answer ... Dear Santa

Last night, after a full day of weddings, shows, parties, and everything else thrown in there, we drove home as we do. It was a bit longer than the normal drive home we make so we had a chance to run through the day’s highs and lows prior to the front door. I laughed as you recalled the morning antics that occurred between you and the roommate. You gave me the moments of reflection necessary after a few unnecessary remarks and then chuckled as I realized such and apologized.

Then, five days before Christmas, you ask in such a casual tone “Kas, what do you want for Christmas?” I didn't answer you as quickly as you might have liked so you offered up some suggestions: the invocation at the inauguration, a boat house on the Lake, the Hotel in Mexico … I chose D, all of the above. Then, in the serious voice I have heard much of lately, you asked the question again. I told you I would get back to you. We laughed and made it home without any more talk of it and yet, before our goodnights, you reminded me that I needed to give an answer to you. I appreciate the extension and am now ready to give you my list that you may deliver to the Big Guy.



Dear Santa (in whatever form you may come in this year),

I know you’ve been watching, Cassidy said she sent Sneaky (for those of you unfamiliar with him, Sneaky is the Elf assigned to watch over Cassidy and Eli) over to watch me while Grandma was out there. She knows Grandma Phyllis reports directly to the Big Guy, that would be you. Your record is probably better than mine and I might be reaching far for these items but you do as you see fit after you’ve looked over Sneaky’s notes.

1. I’d like peace on earth. I know, many sing about it and I’d bet even more pray for it. But I’ve watched as a household full of hurt and betrayal becomes a home of love and acceptance. I’ve watched as an office staffed with apathetic and selfish individuals becomes a workplace full of caring, understand, and patient people. If we can do this on an individual level it is possible on a global level. I’ve given my advice to the people that I know, some of whom have quite a bit of power now. But I’m thinking they might take said advice a bit better from you, you’re wise in your more mature age and have seen many more populations go from rags-riches-rags. So maybe you can swing by the country capitals and pop in at the UN meeting (that’s just for show though) to tell people that it’s about the Golden Rule, it’s about selflessness, it’s about the happiness of the lowest of servants and the poorest of beggars. The disputes over oil and land, the guns, the genocides, the religious disputes, the angry acts of racism, the bombs dropping … these can be stopped, we just have to be aware of what is going on. I know that we’ve put good people in places of power and decisions, I worked hard to see that happen, they’re already working toward this end goal. Please teach the others selflessness and charity, peace will follow.

2. I’d like to live without the cell phone. It’s true. Don’t bring me an IPhone or the phone John’s endorsing. I’d like enjoy a whole week without it. I know they are helpful, after the accident a few weeks ago and with the parental unit as in its current state, I would go so far to say that they are incredibly helpful. But for one week, seven days, I’m asking you to take it away. I want to live from moment to moment, not voicemail to text. I’ll write letters if I want to say something, I’ll use email if its urgent. I want to sit at Dad’s feet and listen to him tell a story without an electronic devise interrupting. I’d like to play a game and listen to the Uncle’s get agitated at their losing status without a delay because someone had to finish sending a text. I’d like to sing around the piano and only hear voices, not ringtones. I’d like this Christmas to be a bit simpler, a bit calmer, a bit disconnected from the fast paced world I find myself in. Please, take away the phone.

3. I’d like to remember the lessons I learned yesterday. I’d like to remember the feelings that were felt. I’d like to remember the smiles that were shared. I’d like them to stay fresh in my memory and not fade with time. I want my desire and drive to be as strong in six months as it was listening to those promises and assurances yesterday morning. I’d like to remember to be check my inpatient tendencies at the door as I remember those who waited on the Lord centuries before His coming and did so with hearts full of hope and faith. I’d like to remember and feel ready and willing to move forward, in spite of my natural tendencies to run. I’d like to remember the satisfaction and contentment I felt as said goodnight to that person I have as my person. I’d like these memories of yesterday to be as fresh as they are today for the next 365 tomorrows, please.

Three things, that’s it. I didn’t want to make things too complicated for you, I know Cass and E have asked for fewer things too so you should make it back to Mrs. Claus before dinner this year.

We’ll have cookies and carrots for you and the reindeer as usual, I think Sammy is in charge this year but I’ll be sure to double check to make sure you’re favorites are on there. Oh, one last thing. Cass has been worried that Sneaky is getting cold, CA is awfully cold this year for some reason. She’s left an old pair of gloves for him in her ‘secret place’ … can you pass that information along?

GET SOME SLEEP and FLY SAFE!

Smiling Again

I almost lost it … almost. But logic set in and nerves were calmed. The reality of what could be was stated simply and plainly and by some miracle I heard. That’s what counts, not the stress induced radical decisions. I was forgiven, without thought or perhaps with thought but no vocalization of process ~ a skill I have yet to master. So I’m smiling, I’m excited for the New Year and the weeks to follow.

I’m smiling because the sun shone perfectly through my window this morning and onto the newest pictures of C&E and you understood why that made me have an extra bounce in my step as we made our way in.

I’m smiling because I can fall asleep knowing that the beautiful snow keeps falling and offers a new clean beginning to tomorrow.

I’m smiling because the chill in the air gives me the perfect excuse to change into comfy non-work clothes and snuggle up with a good book or favorite episode of Mer and know that in just a few minutes I’ll be seeing you do the same thing… this might be my favorite.

I’m smiling because as I tell State Farm agent about my little Saturn I am reminded that you were there to help me pick it out, stating it held many other fun things, not children. Will you be here to help me pick out a new non-child-holding car or will I have to make a few phone calls to get the okay?

I’m smiling because as I saw your sister the other day she reminded me of how funny we are and how we set the curve as to the ‘cool adult’ status with the kids and how if I hold the little guy he simply asks where you are. I’m never certain who is more excited to see you, him or me.

I’m smiling because it’s almost Christmas and our talks and visits now end with those sweet sentiments, memories, hopes and dreams …

I’m smiling because each time I get into the car I hear that ridiculous Christmas song you love so much.

I’m smiling because when I told you of the performance Mom has orchestrated for Christmas Eve you laughed and said, “Your Dad will love that.”

I'm smiling because I know on Christmas day the smile I see will mean more to me than the gifts that I hold.

I’m smiling because I am still here, you are still here, we all are still here.

Bottom line … things got sketchy for a minute, sorry about that … but I’m smiling now because of you.

Winter Wonderland

No, there is no snow here yet. I'll be honest, I'm sad about it. But this ... this almost makes up for the lack of the beautiful white stuff on the ground.

It's got to be said ... let's call boy B, not too difficult to follow that arcronym. B tosses information at you and knows the overwhelmed, deer-in-headlights-look is going to remain for a bit as information is processed. B wins a bit of G back in one quick swoop, G ~ short for girl, when this is waiting for her before she even gets home from saying nothing more than goodnight.

Here's to a Winter Wonderland where ever you may be!

House ... My House

Shortly after I came home from my mission Buba and I were chatting about how there were no 'valuable' shows on TV, nothing worth my time. In the past three years I have found a few shows to keep myself entertained, Thursday night at 8 I find myself quite content with life. But there is one that Buba introduced me to immediately that I continue to love, House. I am intrigued by the character of Gregory House and I am often glued to the medical mystery ~ says the girl who gets woozy at the sight of blood, I know. Nonetheless, I like House.

Almost a year ago now I had a friend come in from out of town to contradict a diagnosis I had made several years ago on myself ~ nothing medical, I like doctors. He came to diagnosis a behavioral excuse I had come to rely on. He announced simply that I was wrong and then sighted some interesting facts to back up his thoughts. I sat and listened. It took me several months to understand that he was perhaps partly right about his diagnosis. It was only this past week that I came to understand that he was 100% correct about me ... chalk one of for stubbornness I suppose.

But I played like House this past year, trying to come up with anything and everything that would fit, that would prove that my initial diagnosis regarding MYSELF was correct. My little pile of excuses kept getting larger and larger until I would find a scapegoat of sorts to pin this on. Shortly after the pin I would realize I was off somehow, a misdiagnosis of sorts, and begin again. I even went so far as to take some seriously drastic and out of character measures to assure myself that things were out of my hands. Come to find out things are in my hands and have been the entire time. It simply took one of those ah-ha moments that Wilson usually provides to House for me to understand what is going on.

So to B ... you are right. Your complete diagnosis was a bit off, as to symptoms and such, but the over all conclusion is 100% accurate. Thanks for irritating me enough with the complete picture you saw, the irritation led to inspiration to get this all figured out. And to my respective Wilson ... thanks for the ear time.

O Lord that lends me life, lend me a heart replete with thankfulness.

Ten years ago, this particular Holiday, was much different in my family. You could find us up on the Lake Shore, all of us. Grams would be exhausted and attempting to cook a moist turkey, which she would never let Mom cook despite all of our pleading. The wives would be in a frenzy trying to get all of the sides, that were bound to be the great leftovers that following day because of some inherent-cook-too-much-trait, cooked. The husbands would be busy setting up tables and 'borrowing' chairs from the Church. The kids would be attempting to stay out of any adults eye sight so as to not be put to work. Once all of that was over, or someone with a loud enough voice had hit the limit of preparation, we would pile in the cars and head to the park. There would be a rousing game of football and the stress of a meal would disappear all together. We would return to the house to warm things up and sit down to eat. Gramps would wait patiently as all of made some smart-alec remark about something and then silence us all with his sincere prayer of gratitude for our family, our freedom, our Lord. For a few moments we would all reflect on how truly blessed our family found ourselves despite the challenges that loomed. Then the conversation would begin (the contents of which are not appropriate for this blog). The food would be enjoyed and then enjoyed a bit more. The men would do the dishes, Dad attempting not to break any of Grams precious china (I watched carefully as I knew these would be mine one day, most years we only lost one plate or salad bowl). The guitar would be pulled out and we'd gather around the piano for a night of Mount Music.

Things are a bit different now. It's after two and I'm not in a house that smells like turkey. Grams and a few siblings are in sunny CA with no worries about the looming flurries. A few of us remain in Our City to dine at a restaurant. The remainder will gather in the state to the south. But that does not stop my heart from being full of gratitude. These past few days B and I have been talking about traditions of yesterday and the hopes of those for the morrow. I've had the chance to share hour after hour, bless his patient heart, of stories that have shaped my life. Of course in my memory those political arguments or gross anatomy talk were a bit less intense and dividing. In my memory our voices knew the harmony and no one ever got sick and infected the whole house. In my memory the turkey was always my mom's perfectly moist bird. In my memory there was never a need for CPR or a trip to the hospital to figure out if that Old Uncle really had a broken wrist or if he was just a bit of wuss. In my memory there was always apple pie. In my memory those traditions are flawless, those people are perfect. I certainly miss those that I am far from, whether that be in merely a physical sense or even one of mortality. The gift that was each Thanksgiving Day is one that I will always cherish and be grateful for.

So my wish, this early Thanksgiving Morning (2:22 - which means it is bound to come true, right?) is that each of us have a Holiday that shapes us, that invokes feelings of love (my absence from that Red Political conversation might make that a bit easier), that reminds us that we truly have so much to be grateful for. Might Will's prayer be mine and yours today, that's William Shakespeare. MERRY THANKSGIVING!

My Lake

We sat in silence as the water splashed against the rocks. I could sit in silence until the sun came up but he wants to discuss things. He always does. However, he was new to my Lake. I was not encouraging of discussion as I refused the bait of his exasperated sighs. I wanted him to enjoy the comforting darkness ahead of us. There were a few more sighs but my bullheadedness won that battle.

*******

I was nine. The adults were diligently unpacking the house for Grams and Gramps and I meandered down to the waterfront. This was not a normal beach. There was no sand, just large boulders for my little webbed feet to walk. I walked for bit, when I turned around I could no longer see the house so I began the walk back. The bodies through the large window panes were still moving and I was not interested in unpacking another something and being ordered to take it to some unknown room. I found a large, smooth, grey-speckled-with-white-rock out at the waters edge and sat down. As I looked to the South and squinted I could see what I was certain was my City. As I looked to the North and squinted I was certain that Milwaukee was not far off. I was right in the middle, on my Lake. The day quickly faded away and the sun set behind me. The moon greeted me, directly ahead. It was huge and beautiful. I watched as it grew smaller and reached further up in the sky. It reflected off of my Lake with perfection.

********

As the moon crept up the black backdrop of the night the sighs disappeared all together. The moon shone perfectly along that deep blue, with a tail of light leading right to my rock. It was not fearful of the small ripples leading to the shore. It held its place in the sky and on the waters face, it knew its place. I had forgotten he was sitting next to me as the time moved on. He brought me back to reality as he squeezed my hand. I turned to look at him and found a common amazement in his eyes. It was now his Lake as well, his rock. I smiled and found the crook in his neck that I had come to call my own as well. “So this is why you don’t like the mountains of Utah?” He said with a smirk in his voice.

Hearing Things ...

People say things. Often I identify a particular saying with a particular person. I can be sitting in an airport a half a country or continent away and hear THEIR saying and my heart skips a beat or a smile crosses my face. Some of my favorite sayings … please note that I most definitely have heard these phrases OFTEN, which makes life fantastic and fun ...

I’ll be right there.
Keep smiling.
Cheer up Charlie.
Keep going.
And then you will say … no no no … you will say YES.
I don’t know.
I suppose.
Then Olivia and I met this guy … seriously.
Can we watch the Meredith show?
No, they said we could eat in the bed (YES ~ I’VE HEARD THIS MULITIPLE TIMES).
Take me there … no there … no there
Are you lost?
We are lost.
Magnum, did you get it?
When the girl gets the boy, well, that’s boring. The boy getting the girl, that’s the adventure.
Does he know that you come with one of me, no exceptions.
I’m driving, you driving?
I know.
I tried to get into Murder She Wrote. (Okay, I heard this once ~ that was enough!)
I moved … don’t jump!
It’s the Mormon in you.
It’s the Mount in you.
Marsha.
Hi … Hi … Hi.
Seriously! Seriously? Seriously.
Mom said so.
Are you coming home yet?
I’ve got this book …
I voted for … but only because …
Right here, you're right here.
Good morning Sunshine.

I’m smiling now.

Home in Utah

I like visitors. I like people I know coming and laughing about what we used to do, how things used to be. I like hearing the sound of the little ones laughing as we try our darndest to make them laugh. I like laughing as the Mafia becomes the Doctor and conspire together. I like watching my parents watch us. I like looking across the table and knowing he’s going to be there along with ice cream and Alice references. I like watching those I love love one another. I like hearing the same story over and over again. I like boys doing outside chores and girls doing the inside chores. I like Sunday morning pictures. I like honesty and frankness. I like sincerity and acceptance. I like saying goodnight in person and not over the phone. I like waking up to “Good morning Sunshine”. I like Home in Utah.

Here We Go

FOR ME ~

YAY for one long journey ending and in that ending leading to a new beginning full of opportunity! Last night as Wolf Blitzer made the announcement, something we had seen coming but feared to jinx it by acknowledging it, I felt a sense of … awe, completion, gratitude, respect, and love. When someone truly believes in the cause, the man behind the cause, and the future of that cause and is able to witness its first step to fulfillment ~ I don’t have the words, shocking I know. To have been at Grant Park, to have been home for this momentous occasion ... wow.

FOR YOU ~ Thank you. BBBB turned to me after a half an hour in the office and said "Did you get engaged or have a baby? These calls are just pouring in for you! " No such event, to the shirgrin of my parents I am confident. But to me, for me ... again, speechless.

Thank you for the support you've given over the past 20 months I've been on this band wagon. I might not be the first to admit that my plate is full but I can certainly admit that when said plate is a bit crowded I can be ornery and neglectful. Your patience, kindness, and love truly are felt and heard. I thank you for all do to keep me going. I know many of you, bless your sweet hearts, have a hard time grasping my inclinations toward President – Elect Obama. I know many of you tried oh-so-diligently to ‘save’ me. Thank you for caring but now …

...Here was go TOGETHER! Upward and onward, onward and upward, EXITO!!

Pasture

Hi world.

I’m here … for a just a moment to break from the delightful madness that is this office, as to be expected, on this Monday prior to the Tuesday of Decision.

Yesterday, P and I sat outside laughing at what is or is not occurring in the world we find ourselves in. I found myself quite entertained and enlightened, how could I not with P? Towards the end of our time together P started dancing around the parking lot and exclaimed, “I want to run outside of the pasture but I still want that pasture back there Kas.” I laughed as he continued this gallivanting and then pulled out my notebook to log the exact wordage used, “This is blog worthy.”

Don’t we all want that? We want the ability to run around, call red blue, sleep during sunup hours, and live as that free spirit. But when our legs get weary, the red starts to look blue, a normal schedule sounds a bit like heaven, and being that free spirit is just too much … we want to turn around and see that safe pasture. I don’t need to go back in, I just need to know it is there, I need that option. Then I keep gallivanting in the freedom of the life I am living. The pasture is freedom as well as I can go in and out but to run outside of those perfectly painted white fences … that’s fantastic. Am I making sense?

No time to clarify.

Big Brothers

I took some time this weekend to go spend time with some of my favorite kiddos. I'll be honest, everything seems right in the world when you are in the company of three amazing little guys. Porter and Mason wanted to sing for the baby that we were anxiously waiting for. They practiced for at least ten minutes, laughing and enjoying every mess up. The above was the 'perfect one for Benny ran around the house singing "Twinkle Twinkle" but ultimately decided against sharing with the world.




From the looks of these pictures you might think that I have a bias towards Mason, not so. I love each of these little ones the same. Porter ~ because he makes me laugh with his stories. The child can somehow make something as simple as brushing his teeth into a ten minute story. He is getting to the age where there is reason, and a good one, behind everything as well. For example, he picked a book for us to read prior to bed time. It was a bit of girly book and so I inquired as to why this book was chosen. He looked up at me and simply announced, "Marsha, I need to know this book so I can read it to Quincy when she comes. Mom is going to have a lot to do, I can read to Sister." What a thinker and a lover this one is! Benny (Bennett) for the little guy he is becoming. With Quincy about to take over 'baby' status in the home Benny needed something. And he has done EVERYTHING. This little one can be found behind the chair reading to himself, using your legs as the crash course for his favorite cars, or cuddling up on your lap telling YOU a story (he takes after his oldest brother that way). If it weren't for Translator Porter I would not understand a word but Porter is amazing and understands every word of it. Mason for his laugh. Whether he breaks the quiet dinner time with a funny laugh because he thinks his food looks like the dog from across the courtyard or he turns to me right before bed, grabs my face, and laughs 'But Marsha, bed is boring. Let's play tickle again' ... this kid gets me EVERYTIME ~ we might have gotten up and tickled the WIGGLES out of these little ones!! All in all these 3 guys are fabulous! Kirst and Dave have done an amazing job with the first three and I am excited to see what happens when this little girl comes into a home so full of love and excitement!

Locks

Here you are.

Happy Anniversary

I can hardly believe it! I’ve been here, in the 8410… zip code for an entire year. I left the shores of Sunny, Melo, Perfect California to come to Utah. God and I had made a deal which consisted of me coming to Utah with a large question of why in my mind and His endless love and patience as I figure it all out. We’re still in the figuring out process.

But I fear that I more often than not give the downer side of living in Utah. With the post below I realize that some ‘click-byers’ might assume I am not a fan of the circumstances I find myself. Let me clarify ~ some days are hard but there were hard days in CA (the knock on the door at 12 and the quiet Kas contemplating things while Greys or SportsCenter play is evidence to that) and hard days back home. LET ME MAKE THIS CLEAR ~ I like living in UT … I’ll say it again, I like living in UT.

The mountains that once made me feel like the world was caving in on me have now become the beautiful blanket landscape that surrounds me. I saw the most beautiful moonset today over the far away mountains ~ I don't know which range is which yet ~ as I drove west … it was breathtaking.

The City of Salt Lake, which I previously would only refer to as a ‘large town’, is now a quaint city with discoveries of amazing architecture and perfect people watching benches. I am certain M&M and I could enjoy 4th South for hours.

The weather, albeit dry, is manageable ~ sorry, I like my Chicago fall and California spring.

My homes ~ yes, prior to the ringing in of 2009 I will live in another house, 3 in one calendar year!! But I love each of them. From the red and yellow kitchen in the Fairview house … to the cozy quarters on Bryan … to the heated bathrooms and ginormous kitchen at Pete’s (I might like the last the most!) I have been at ‘home’.

But what is most important is that I have ‘people’ here. I have people that I trust and that I count on. I have people that I laugh with and can scream at (I apologize). I have people that will walk with me and people that will pull me. I have people that will argue with me and people that will wipe away the tears. I have my Liberal friends and my die hard Conservatives. I have my Grey's watchers and my Bear's Club. I have my walking friends and my Wii friends. My ‘person’ is here, I am here.



HAPPY ANNIVERSARY UTAH! I know I don’t express it nearly as often as I should but … I kinda like ya, from Lay’en to the moun’ins, you’re not half bad. Thanks for a WILD year … here’s to another 365 days!

I Propose ...

Sunday Night depression didn’t hit until 1:30 last night … I kept myself busy. I like my job, my other job, and my other job (when did that happen?) but there are some nights when the thought of a routine day coming with the next sunrise is not happy.

During my last jaunt to CA we discussed an option that sounds more and more appealing with each passing week, day, moment. Last night, before sleep came, I made a few additions to the original plan. Here’s my final proposal ~ and by final I mean can be altered at any moment as long as we get one and go.


We’ll purchase one of these. I believe in these.


She’s going to drive and obviously we'll be bringing the Girlfriend and Cowboy ~ we can't leave them behind!! She’ll still be working and so we’ll drive from show to show and in our free time meander the country.


He’ll be the photographer for the adventure. Occasionally we may need a bit of extra gas money and he has volunteered to … do things for that money.


She’ll be teaching the kids so they don’t fall behind as well as organizing the jewelry business we will need to start up to keep up with the energy costs of parking the Big Boy.


She’ll be the labor for the jewelry business and the social coordinator. If you want on for an hour, a day, or to journey with us for a time … contact her.

I’ll be in charge of the map … Bad idea. I’ll be in charge of the meals … Bad idea. I’ll be in charge of the people I put in charge of those things. I’ll also do bedtime with the kids ~ others allow the kiddos to eat in bed!

Lights and Trees

So it got a little chilly on Wednesday night ~ I sleep with my windows open, I'm my Father's daughter. When I woke up … after a resting three hours of sleep … I found my mind immediately turned toward Christmas, a subconscious thing I do when I feel even an ounce of winter weather! I am that girl that gets excited when she finds the Christmas station weeks before Thanksgiving on the radio, rents the Christmas movies months in advance, and finds every reason to begin this Holiday as early as possible.

Halloween is great … it’s better with the kids around though. Thanksgiving is up there too but to find a good flight home, not miss too much work, and not spend more time in the airport with delays than I do with my family tends to put little Thanks in my heart that weekend.

CHRISTMAS is my favorite. I love snow. I love carols. I love lights. I love seeing beautifully wrapped gifts (Robs, why aren’t I there? D&P are going to have to step it up and teach this girl how to wrap a gift). I love watching the traditional movies. I love staying up late and discussing the same topics that were discussed the previous 20 years of my life but now I’m a grown-up (of sorts) and so I get to participate. I love the ridiculous competition of games on Christmas night. I love the ridiculous gifts that Buba comes up with. I love missionary calls. I love the house hopping on Christmas Eve. I love watching faces as people open the gift that I so dilligently searched for ... that perfect gift. I love CHRISTMAS.



So naturally … I’m preparing myself. I called the Christmas Light Professionals and Vance is on it ~ our Little Brick House is going to be simple and beautiful ~ no colored lights (the M&M both gave that stamp of approval immediately). I’m thrilled! I’m also trying to figure out how to get a license to get my tree, as in cut my tree down on my own. There were two years in college Paul and Gunnison clan brought home beautiful trees, freshly cut, but I’m certain they did it under the eye of the law. I am not as slick, nor as knowledgeable in the cutting down of trees, I shouldn't take that risk … so I'm going to figure out how to do it legally. Sure, the tree last year was great … but I want to do it all the good old fashioned way. Anyone game? Paul and Tara/ Brent and Collette, do you want to come for a weekend and show me how to do this?

And so it begins ...

Tied up with a Bow

I think too much … I stay up late into the night thinking … I get on airplanes thinking … I watch a movie and find myself having to rewind because I’ve gotten lost in thought … I wake up in the middle of the night and my mind is already going at a million miles an hour … I attempt to distract myself with a book but find myself rereading the same page for hours …

After something occurs that has so many implications and yet so many unknowns … After something occurs that might offer a whole new view on life … After something occurs that might very well break me if I’m not careful … After something occurs that shakes me to the very core … After something occurs that I had never expected to occur … After something occurs that was not suppose to occur … After something does not occur …

… It would turn out that I’m a girl. I might roll my eyes, I might make some sarcastic or cynical remark … but I do go weak in the knees. I do feel the butterflies awaken. I do forget to breathe. My heart does skip a beat, sometimes two or even three.

So after all is said and done and all my thoughts on the subject have been categorized and dramatized and simplified and logically analyzed I’ve come to one final conclusion. It was perfect, for that moment in time. It was exactly what I would have imagined it being, even though I had not imagined it. It was so perfect in fact that I want to steal it from the banks of my memory and put it in a box, wrapped with a perfectly tied bow, so that one day I can pull it out and show my granddaughter how truly perfect it can be.

Seconds

I'm stopping. Yesterday I ran, keeping myself preoccupied with the hms and hos of life. I napped for two hours, awoke in the middle of the night to a mind full of thoughts and questions and a heart full of emotion. I have a gift, avoidance. So I threw in some Greys and straightened my hair, then read a mindless novel which simply allowed me to run to a reality that isn't my own.

Today was much of the same office/office/theatre ... until now, almost 2 am ... as I take my turn. Sitting here in the quiet, with only the sound of sniffles every few minutes to interrupt the constant crickets outside, my mind and heart finally get to have their way. I'm happy to do it. It is the very least I can do and yet to stop ... to let my thoughts and emotions have a moment to exist, to face this reality... is petrifying.

It's the little things that count, no matter how many times I say this is never seems to stick. But right now, as I breathe in and out and look up to see pictures of people that have moved on, I see that life is in the seconds not in the years.

The seconds of the email chains at work from friends, who may be far from me now, with mindless chatter. The seconds of the "Good Morning Sunshine" emails from Dad. The seconds of the call in the middle of the night, from the one that knows I'll still be up, to be the distraction. The second I first smell the 'cold'. The seconds of the wink from across the office in the middle of a calling frenzy. The seconds of laughter in the basement and the tantrums in the kitchen. The second of the foot in the face, the hand on the back, the high five. The seconds of the Friday phone call. The 'edge of our seat' second as the curtain goes down at intermission. The seconds of the goodnight prayers.

I need to find a balance ... I need to find that time. I need to find the moments, the seconds and enjoy them while I am in them rather than days later while driving to a meeting and rechecking the week's TODO list. This life is too precious, this time is too rare to waste in 'avoiding' things that hurt or cause one to change (which is often defined as such to me). It is happiness in the happenings that count, not just the busyness of the day and the length of the TODO list.

It is the second ... this second that counts.

Mara

After a courageous journey Mara has left this life and returned to her Father in Heaven.



All of my thoughts and love are there with you.

STOP and LISTEN

Anyone you talk to will have an opinion (If my words can create, Hell was certainly being ice-skated on Sunday evening when my least political friend had something to say regarding the current race). I am not exempt from that group of anyone ~ goodness I was called a fan of Marxism because of someone’s opinion of my opinion. My opinion regarding the “Lipstick Bulldog” is far from favorable when it comes to her political integrity. But I fear that many that read this will simply read this as fact, rather than my somewhat biased opinion that it truly is. So I will refrain, for now, from addressing her weaknesses and strengths.

However, I plead with you to not take everything you receive in your inbox regarding any of the Senators, inclusive of those two whom I whole-heartedly support, and the Governor as fact. Anything can be placed under a picture to pull at your heart strings, to make you shed a tear, to invoke feelings of frustration. Anyone can sit down at their keyboard to compile the latest lies and attach them to pictures taken at an event that has absolutely nothing to do with the claim being made. I plead with you to listen to the candidates, whether on the federal level or your local congressman, as they discuss the issues. I plead with you to read the facts that come from RELIABLE SOURCES. Do your research, don’t base your vote or lack there of on a speech or a picture that showed up in your mailbox. Do not forward information on that you know is incorrect, whether against your candidate or for. Do not add to the flame of ignorance that is already running rampant in today’s society.

I plead with you to listen … learn … and understand for yourself. Most certainly I would be thrilled if you voted for the team that I currently offer my time to. However, BE INFORMED! I plead with you to do more than take a stand for Change, the Bush-McCain-McChange-McSame campaign or the Obama CHANGE. I plead with you to CHANGE the standard of ignorance that surrounds us. Get informed! One speech, one fox news report, one email from your uncle or boss, one sentence you overhear out of the mouth of your current lover ~ these are not reasons to cast your ballot. Take heed to the issues, take heed to the character and integrity of the candidate. Ignorance is far from bliss.

I could go on but let that soapbox lecture sink in … I’ll update on my weekend in Whitefish Montana with Senator Biden a bit later on this week.

Savvy Birthday Robs!

This video, created last night, says most of it ... but just in case you can't feel the love via video ...

Thanks for being the older sister I never had, the voice of reason, the listening ear, the confidence I sometimes lack ... thanks for everything! I wish I were there to celebrate with you but since I'm not ... watch the kitchen table, it's not something that will stay in the box in the garage for a year!



HAPPY BIRTHDAY ROBS! LOVE YOU!

TODO List

I like being busy … I do best under pressure. I am happier when I have things to check off of my TODO List (yes, I refer to it as TOTO, like Dorothy’s dog ~ I suppose naming my list is perhaps not the best sign). But I love my lists as much as Dorothy loves her dog.

Would you like to see what my TODO List consisted of yesterday?
• Gym – 5:30
• HP JOB – 7:00
• Lunch with new State Director for the Senator’s Campaign, Suzanne – 1:00
• Hair Apt – 4:00
• Laundry
• Connect with Sorensen
• Meet with QD – 6:00
• BIG @ HALE – 6:30
• Night with Pete, Dirk, and Heather – 10:30

Here is what it actually was …
• HP JOB – 6:30
• Connect with Sorensen … connected to figure out when we could actually connect, PROVO is so far!
• Lunch with Suzanne – 1:00 … she’ll take us places
• GYM – 3:00
• Hair Apt – 4:00 … blessed Steph, if I ever strike oil or have a child star I will have her move in with me
• Mail Check / Talk to Parental Units
• BIG @ HALE – 6:30
• Meet with QD – 6:42 … we squeezed in our entire agenda in 19 minutes, we were still on time for Green Room
• Call Adam – 7:20 … Oh how I love my serenity giver
• Call Scot – 7:35 (yes, after show start time, I’m a fabulous multi-tasker) … learned more about Architecture
• Discuss with other Techies (who knew I would refer to myself as such!) Lists – 8:00 … you’d be surprised at Michaels List
• Night with Peter, Dirk, and Heather – 10:18 (I get out quickly!) … this deserves expansion
o Dinner
o Assign Jobs for Peter’s Future
 H – Lawyer, obviously
 D – Costume Design
 K – Music Director … I will be working with all of the big names we convince to come and put laser gloves on
o Discuss Audio Gift Giving
o ZANADU … The Premiere for Kasi French … HAVE YOU SEEN THIS FILM?



 That’s GENE



 Muse spoiling from Heather
 All things OLIVIA NEWTON JOHN
 Pete Dance
o Dirk sporting my favorite T-shirt
o Jim Hansen Talk and Planning
o OC Conversation … obviously
o Laughing
o Relaxing
o Questioning our abilities to break into a car ~ I’m serious, at 11:15 there was a knock and a question• Home – 12:15
• Mind wandering, contemplating, fretting, rejoicing
• SLEEP – 3:30



I know that I think I am giving the impression of this serene animal while busily completing my tasks but I know I’m probably looking to the outside world as a duck face down trying to grab something completely out of reach … I love it all though!

MAGIC KILLERS

It was a cooler night, a welcome surprise. The wind was propelling in from the south window, aided by the fan above. The clock read after one, how did that happen? I pulled out one of my two pajama drawers but as I was sorting to find the perfect pair for the four hours of sleep that was ahead of me, a process that takes five long minutes I mourn for on the other end, the cooler night suddenly became cold. A smile crossed my face as I quickly shut that drawer. I reached eight inches above, FALL/WINTER PAJAMAS!

I brushed my hand over the Christmas pile, I can listen to the music but if I put one of those on I’ll curse the Indian Summer that is likely ahead of me still. My eyes lingered on the red snowflakes from two years back but my hands moved on and suddenly stopped. My eyes caught up … the pale pink, softer than a baby’s blanket, pair. Perfect.

I crawled into bed, pulled up the sheets and there they were …



She comes to get it as we get in the bath. I have no fear of the first step of the cleansing process. However, she is carefully monitored during the critical moments of the second step. She often reaches for the dryer sheet. NO! At five, the only thing understood is that the dryer sheets are MAGIC KILLERS! She laughs and tries to explain something about cling and the slips I desperately hate on Sundays but my eyes are focused on the dryer door … if any killers past through I will lie on the ground and throw a tantrum.

I am the fastest. The Strawberry Shortcake Nightgown is my favorite. No matter the season, no matter the trip, no matter the sleeve length, it is worn. I am in my SSN before the others have even decided on their wardrobe for the next eleven hours ~ FRENCH KIDS NEED THEIR SLEEP and our parents know it. Discussion of the next day, brushing of hair and teeth, and prayer. Please ask Briggy to pray, he prays the fastest. I don’t know that other little ones hate going to bed, I run to my bed and suddenly stop … I crawl in slowly and they appear. My friends from the night before, not Fairies that Grams talks of. No, these were my Magic Jumping Beads that magically appear and disappear so fast I can never catch them. He comes and interrupts with his own nightly ritual, saying goodnight to his girls. I respond and then he’s gone. I kick, I twist, I turn, I throw my limbs in all sorts of directions. And although the beads taunt me, I fall into dreams with them night after night.

… I must have forgotten to put the MAGIC KILLERS in the last time I washed the pink softies or perhaps the dryness of UT has affected my drawer contents. But I fell asleep with a childlike contentment and awoke with more energy than I have ever awoken after three and a half hours of sleep. DOWN WITH MAGIC KILLERS!

Anyway ... Because

A little bit ago I was introduced to a newish musical, I Love You Because. The music is decent, lyrics are clever … not a complete waste of time. However, this is not a review of said musical. Rather a post regarding my thoughts on the title song.

How often does it cross our mind, “Oh, well, I love you anyway,” after our love one does something illogical or perhaps something contrary to what we would normally do. This “I love you anyway” causes, I believe, an underlying frustration in a relationship. I believe it is undermining to the one you care so much about and in the end it causes rifts between two people.

You disagree? Let’s look at an example or two. Let’s suppose your fiancée is habitually late. You kiss her on the top of her head as she finally meets you at lunch and she begins her apology. “Don’t fret, I love you anyway.” Certainly the constant tardiness in life could wear on someone. But if in your mind you understand why she is late, whether its because she is preparing for the day by packing the picnic for your lunch or making herself beautiful for you, you LOVE HER BECAUSE of it all. See the difference? Not yet?

Okay, so he loves sports. He could spend all day long in front of ESPN Classics watching football games from before he could walk. You indicate to him that you’d like to go to the library for a reading by a local man, Kurt Vonnegut. He lovingly replies, “I’ll stay here but thanks.” You blop a kiss on the top of his head and as you walk out with a bit of underlining irritation you say “Love you anyway.” But if you understand that sports to him is like that Vonnegut novel to you, that sports are his way of unwinding from the day that caused serious stress as he’s trying to make the living that funds all of those books on your bookshelf … he hasn’t asked you to memorize the ’83 Bears Roster, he knows you have no interest in that, so? You LOVE HIM BECAUSE of it all, not in spite of it all.



If I can speak of anything at all in this life it is feeling love and it is clear when someone loves me anyway or loves me because. I come with my fair share of quirks and imperfections ~ no need to share. I will be the first to acknowledge that I have much to work on but when I am loved for who I am rather than for what you can put up with … that is a love that is hard to walk away from.

Moving to Europe

Why wouldn’t I? I’ve been called a gypsy, a vagabond, a drifter, a wanderer … I’m okay with the labels and feel it is my responsibility to live up to them.

Last night as M&M and I discussed the lives that we are currently leading I stated the obvious solution, “Let’s move to Germany and live with Nays.” There was no hesitation, both responded in the affirmative.



I believe we’ll pack up this week and be driving the German country side by the closing ceremonies of the Olympics. We’ll live from paycheck to paycheck, working as little as necessary to keep us fed and clothed ~ Nays will have company on the rare occasion he’s home and we’ll be learning the rail system of Europe as we venture forth into the culture rich landscape of our ancestors.

You are more than welcome to come and visit … let me simply explain the parameters that apply to all that come.
• You mustn’t come during any period of time that might be referred to as a Honeymoon, this is a period where friends should not be visited – no matter the circumstance.
• You mustn’t come during any period of time that might be referred to as an engagement, we’ve noticed in our research that this period is full of high stress, tears, and unnecessary orneriness.
• We will allow those with fancy jewelry housed on the left ring finger to come but they must understand that it is not their duty to persuade those without said jewelry to get said jewelry.
• We believe in children, so you may bring yours and we will dote on them. We will strongly encourage you to stay at a hotel with adorable children, if only to allow us to unwind from the delight that your offspring offer and miss them a bit to increase doting the following day.
• We believe in romance but do not believe in the drama that many feel comes as its companion, so if you desire to kiss M/M/K understand that in our minds, IT IS ONLY A KISS ~ not a testament to abounding love and devotion.
o If you do desire to continue with this kissing for a long period of time, you better have some frequent flyer miles ~ it will take some awfully good kissing on MANY SEPARATE occasions to convince any of us to venture back to this America you speak of.
o We do not say three little words simply to help you fill a quota, nor do we listen to them … we believe that actions speak louder than words.
o If by chance you do convince one to travel back to the America, either K&M or M&M must give full approval.
• It is your responsibility to accept whatever accent we decide to speak in during your visit, it will likely change from day to day or perhaps even hour to hour.
• You must accept that Seth / Summer / Jim / Pam / Meredith / Derek are parts of our lives and should never be referred to as anything less
• We believe that all people have the right and responsibility to choose their own political views but if they must be vocalized through yelling and belittling of others they are not welcome.
• We encourage the cynical and sarcastic to visit often.

Once these are understood in their entirety, let us know ~ we’ll put it on the calendar.

I’m off to pack.

Night in the City

Life has been a bit crazy as of late but I found the chance to relax with an old friend. I like time with my old friend.

This was Adam’s first time in the greater Salt Lake area. We contemplated a trip to the fun Park City or SunDance for all of two minutes but decided that drive was out of the question, he had driven all day. So we ventured down to Temple Square. I had never been to Temple Square with a person not of the LDS faith. It was quite intriguing to watch Adam be introduced to a place I had seen countless times. The first question he asked, “Kas, can I be arrested for being irreverent here? I don’t know if I’m going to be able to help myself.”



I was quite entertained as our tour guide at the LDS Conference Center made mention of a few things. The first was after he enquired after Adam’s profession, Senator Obama’s campaign. “Now, I’m a Republican but my wife and I are both voting for Obama.” Adam looked down at me with a bit of shock on his face and humor in his eyes ~ a bit unexpected from out mid70s-London-Native-Tour Guide. Another favorite reaction was when the tour guide asked Adam if he knew of the Book of Mormon or the Prophet Joseph Smith … it was a direct look at me with the same look that crossed his face when he joked, “Oh, all those Book of Mormons, one for me, one for my host family in Equador … singing in Church … the brainwashing,” as we walked into the Conference Center. I smirked as he nodded to London. But what took the cake was London’s references to Adam’s baptism, impending marriage in the temple across the way, and the side glances London shot at the two of us. I’m not certain what the reaction would have been had Adam shared the name of his current love interest but that might have just been a bit too much.

The rest of Temple Square was a self given tour: Temple, Tabernacle, Family History Library. This could have been my favorite moment on Temple Square with Adam. I’m not even certain he knew but while sitting there, in a quite library with probably twenty other people quietly sitting and working at computers, several ‘choice words’ came out. Not all at once, not in a rude or disrespectful manner … he was simply speaking and ‘darn’ there would be his Great Great Great Grandfather. Or ‘Shoot, should that be there?’ the social security of his Father would pop up. I’m positive no one heard but it simply made me smile a bit from the inside out, Adam was sitting at a Church Library with missionaries flanking the doors of the room, using colorful language. I like time with my old friend.

After the Mormon Education we started to walk, confident we’d find some food. I like my walk time with my old friend. We ended up spending close to an hour and half walking Salt Lake, only interrupted for some fantastic food at Stone Ground ~ Adam was starving!



Our conversation ventured from parents to which wine to drink to crushes on Cory to number of children desired to Montana to all things RYP to DC to relationships to wedding songs to reality, we normally run the gamete. Naturally he sang as we walked, I never remember how much I love that voice until I hear it ~ it truly is one of the few voices I could listen to without ever growing tired of it. And as always, it was in the middle of our walk, in mid sentence, I state the truest fact of my reality in the moment I realize it. Of course it would be with Adam.

Bottom line, I like time with my old friend. I get to come out of the world I am in, no matter where that is physically or emotionally, and see it from another’s eyes. Reality and truth come forth and I find the courage to believe it all.

Now I know someone in Montana ~ OBAMA 08 in Missula, MT!

SERIOUSLY!

1 ~ Check out Seriously So Blessed

2 ~ See number one!

Thanks Dirk for the tip ... FANTASTIC!

12 Days ... Countdowns

We count down a lot in life … we count down the seconds to New Years, the hours until the dinner, the days until graduation, the weeks until the baby birth, the months until the next Holiday, the years until retirement. I didn’t count down a lot of things on my own though …



However, last year I was introduced to life-saving value of the Countdown. A friend, who has by far the most grownup job of all of my friends, was unhappy in his job. So he counted down, countdown to beach time with the kids, countdown to the next episode of 24, countdown to the weekend, countdown to Mexico, countdown to handing in notice, countdown to last day. There was no countdown to starting work again. Countdowns are only for fun things. Countdowns remind us how close things really are.

Many might fear that age old adage “watching the pot won’t make the water boil any faster” … I disagree. Since taking a fulltime job not including ‘beach afternoons,’ ‘Disney days,’ ‘sing along,’ and other such diversions I have become a Countdown Girl. I love counting down to things, even the simplest of things.

It’s the simple Countdowns that fix the long day! I know you’re wondering so I’ll tell you the simple countdowns that make life exciting. Countdown to talks in the doorway with M&M. Countdown to Sundaes. Countdown to the carnival at work on Tuesday (I may or may not have gotten my face painted for the second time this Face Painting Season). Countdown to SnowShak and SYTYCD with commentary by priceless friends. Countdown to 12am opening day movies. Countdown to lunches at the gym. Countdown to Casual Friday. Countdown to Grams Gabbing Hour (Friday’s drive home). Countdown to Saturday’s Sleeping Morning (that’s usually an 8:30 morning!). Countdown to Sunday’s entertainment. I love my Countdowns!

You always need a big countdown though … something exciting and out the ordinary. My out of the ordinary arrives in 12 days. Adam is coming to UT on his way to Missoula! It’s always a breath of fresh air to talk with Adam and it’s going to be like a cool summer breeze coming through the desert that is Utah that Tuesday evening. Sure he might ruffle a few feathers … that’s part of the excitement! That’s reason enough to have a countdown! 12 days to a night of free thinking, laughing, and fun …

Enjoy your own Countdowns!

Campaignin'

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Treasure Balance

I think we all find treasures. Cowboy and Girlfriend find them on Grandpa's Lake. Some find them along other paths in life, whether while traveling through Taiwan and the back countries of Asia or on a road trip up PCH or sitting in a beautifully built building reading a novel or even while watching D choose J.

As of late I've thought much about the treasures we find. Like Cowboy we are excited and anxious to dig deep and make it ours. People all around us will tell us we can't, we shouldn't. But we persevere. We dig deep. We defy the opinions and recommendations. This treasure is rare, it's real. This treasure could be the part of us that is missing. So we work at it. Others come around to help and we welcome extra hands. They offer their advise, "Put your back into it" or "Use the backhoe" or "Wait till the tide comes back in". They offer some of their own brute strength. They inspire us to continue. And in turn you inspire them to dig deep, to find their own treasure.

But sometimes we get lost in this treasure, we lose a balance that is necessary in life and we miss everything that is around us. There are so many treasures that have already been handed to us. We've got to remember to experience those as well. The kids at the Lake seemed to find the balance ... 'become as a little child'.



Dig deep but look up every once in awhile to enjoy what you already have. Leap into the next adventure of life with courage and excitement while remembering that you are leaping with greater knowledge and strength because of where you have already been. Find that balance Kas...

Happiness Is ...

Happiness is …

~ Having this guy get married … FINALLY!! (Not the middle, that’s Dave ~ who is expecting #4, FIRST GIRL!!, later this fall!) … and talking with this guy. We, Dave / Nate / Michelle and I seemed to be the VIP’s at this reception. Brad, Father of the Groom, sat with us just chatting about good old BGII fun times for a large part of the night

~ Seeing these guys in the temple on the middle guy’s wedding day! It was a fantastic surprise to walk in and see a gaggle of old friends. I constantly forget how tall those Labrums are or how sweet the Bryan women are or how dang hilarious AJ is! Thank you Chicago Temple Greeters for being so kind and patient with us as we reunited!

~ Enjoying family time on the Lake

~ Spending the flight back, layover, extended layover remembering all of the fun times the good ol’ days back in Chicago have to offer. Seeing the lil’ Eyres all grown up ~ Kylee Su is heading to college this year ~ made me feel so old. The Fitzgerald girls have grown into two amazingly stunning young ladies … I still think of them as the little ones who hated bedtime. Ty is married (sure it’s been two years or so but … he’s still 14 and being thrown in pools by admirers in my mind) and going to dental school ~ thanks to his amazing wife (I’m still a bit stunned as to how well he did for himself!). Brit has two little girls ~ sassy! Margaret got married. Andre is … well, bless his heart, he’s the same and I love that. The Rules are … oh I love them! I think every conversation I have have with Steve, I get that question, “Mar, when are you coming home?” The funny thing in, he’s not at ‘home’, he’s in Logan. But over that past six years somehow whenever I end up at that house on Burdick, Stevie is there ~ now he’ll be there with Lauren and between you and me … I might like Lauren better than Stevie, so this works well!

~ FOUND NEW HATS!

~ Jason and Jesse … need more be said?

~ Long talks with an old friend about life

~ Heather’s fantastic Sunday Shirts with Pete’s fabulous Heads, a welcome distraction to constant mucus induced noises

~ my M&M mornings/afternoons/nights/twilight time

HAPPY DAY!

To the Men in my Life

Normally I have the fantastic Hallmark Card in the mail by this point but they are in my purse, without a stamp, so chances are high that Dad and Gramps will have an extended Father's Day! But I will take a moment or two to celebrate the Fathers of my life!

Mike, Matt, and Max ~ the three greatest Uncles that a girl could have. All are worth more to me than words could ever convey but I will try.

Uncle Mike, (pictured here in his oh-so-slick-outfit with Uncle Max) who I greatly miss each day, offered so much as he walked this earth to those he loved. He loved with his whole heart and you felt it, you heard it, you knew it. Over these past three years I have learned more about the man that is my Uncle. He has touched so many lives, aided so many friends, loved so many people ... pushing aside the nonsense that sometimes life creates and focused on his family, his loved ones. He continues to love and inspire and I love him so much.

Uncle Matt, our own Job, is the endearing Uncle. I remember as a young girl sitting on the white couch in Grams and Gramps house when everything got chaotic, not surprising for a Saturday morning with the Mounts. Mom was upstairs with Buba who was causing a ruckus, Cubby /Josh / Bri were banging on the piano. I was overwhelmed, a bit dramatic for a six year old ~ I know. Aunt Shelia was trying to calm baby Jennifer who was crying,6 I'm sure she was too a bit overwhelmed. I saw Uncle Matt, sitting on the floor in front of the fireplace, walked over, sat down on his lap, and fell asleep. That is one of my favorite memories of my Uncle Matt. Now that I'm older I still find great peace in the presence of Uncle Matt ... he's been through more than his fair share of storms and yet he truly emulates the peace that he has found. I love him very much.
Uncle Max, 'the favorite Uncle', would have a right to claim on such things if I used the words, when they are self-proclaimed however ...! He was the Uncle that got off the plane from Chile and demanded that we go to McDonald's so that his nieces and nephews, 7/6/4/3 respectively, have their first Big Macs in celebration of his honorable return. He was the Uncle that brought my 'pretend dog' (Gramp's dog, ZEAK) to school. He was the Uncle that showed up at school one random afternoon and took me to McDonald's for a Big Mac and Shake. He was the Uncle that told me not to quickly judge a young gentleman, now that gentleman is among one of my 'people'. He is the Uncle that inquires with reflecting questions causing much internal debate and discovery, whether involving politics, family, relationships, or spiritual matters. He is the Uncle that emails at the crack of dawn on this niece's birthday to win the prize. Uncle Max is following his dreams and allowing me to learn from his process, I love him with my whole heart.

My Favorite Grandfather ...

**** Grampsisms: *cinnamon candies on his desk * vanilla ice-cream every night *frogs * strike days * largest elevator in Wisconsin * fun with the fork-lifts * Beer Brats * How's your love life? * Your voice is sexy sick * Lincolns * little girls that swear at inappropriate times * patriotism * funny emails * tricky teeth * peck kisses * 3rd finger pointing * cats and chicken * perseverance * all things Mason * individual and eternal vow * I SUPPOSE ****
My Grandfather leads the Mount family with love and devotion. He is not a man of many words but he offers his all at all times for his family. He holds us together when the world seems to fall apart. I love my Gramps very much and am very grateful I am his favorite, as confirmed in the video above as well as in on his wedding day in a Holy Place!

My Favorite Father ... I could write for days and still be unable to truly allow you to see who he is and why he is so adored by me. My favorite memory of my Dad and I is actually the first memory I have of my Dad and I. He woke me early one morning and took me down to the Lake. The sun had yet to come up, I was in my Strawberry Short Cake nightgown. We cuddled down on the rocks and watched the sun come up. I don't remember what wisdom he imparted that particular morning but I do remember him saying "I love you Sunshine" right as the sun came up over the Lake. I could live to be a 103 and that memory would still be vivid in my mind. Every time I hear him call me Sunshine that memory comes flooding back. There is no greater gift a father could give his daughter than the knowledge that she is loved and adored. My Father has not let one day go by in my life without allowing me to hear and feel of that love. Even while I was serving my Father in Heaven and contact was limited I could feel of my Father's prayers and knew that the extra ounce of strength was coming from him. I'm a Daddy's Little Girl ... I always will be.

I love you Daddy!

Happy Father's Day to the Men in my Life! I love you all very much!

I Get It

It's been almost six months since Michelle's visit to Utah. It amazes me that the REDDEST STATE (for my political babies that are just learning that means a conservative state) was privileged with the presence of a Democrat. Barack was scheduled to come but with the passing of President Hinckley it was decided that his trip would be cancelled out of respect and honor for the late prophet. When it was confirmed that Michelle was to come in his place, I'll be honest, I was even more thrilled. These videos are from that visit.

Having dedicated much of my time during the months of November, December, and January to this campaign I grew to know the characters of Barack and Michelle. How they run this campaign, with respect and dignity, trickles down to even the lowliest volunteer. They care deeply for one another, for their daughters, for their unique heritages, for God, and for this country.

I have found myself defending my regard for Barack and this campaign on a daily basis. A few days ago I received an email from an 'acquaintance' attacking me for going 'against the faith' that I cherish. The argument was that I have simply gotten atop a band wagon without truly knowing in which direction I am heading, that it is the 'hype and fad' I am intrigued with. Oh GOODNESS!! I have cooled down and responded with this ...

I am not one to go with the 'hype or fad'. I am a 25 year old single Mormon Girl working for a democrat in the state of Utah. I have not read Harry Potter nor seen the films. I refuse to talk through my nose and click my tongue. I share my life with a variety of people, only a portion being those that share my faith. I do not succumb to the wind. I am not ignorant of the issues nor of Barack's positions, I share his views on Health Care, the War, Education, Immigration ... I could go on. What we also have to look at however is the fact that enthusiasm, hope, and a man to inspire these things in people is a reason to vote for him or at the very least consider him. To have a man of integrity in the White House will change America. The policies are going to change constantly, the arguments to evolve with time, but a person's character is what ~ hopefully ~ remains intact through it all. It's that trust that will change how Americans feel about the Man in the White House. It's that trust that will continue to inspire the my generation, the previous apathetic generation, to get out and not simply vote but speak up about voting. It's that trust that will make our Nation the Nation that our Founding Fathers dreamed of. It's that trust, that character, that Man that will continue to cultivate hope.

We can argue where Barack stands on the issues, whether he and the Church are in juxtapositions or not (let us remember that the LDS Church takes NO POSITION, simply encourages us to be proactive in our political process)... but at night, he's tucking the girls in bed, kissing Michelle goodnight and praying to God for the chance to do it again tomorrow while helping others to have the hope for it as well.

This is not just hype or a fad, we have gained the nomination. This is historic. This is change. This is hope. I get it!

A and B

There are people that laugh at life. There are people who see the bigger picture. There are people who get it, even when you’re whining. There are people who will swear for you. There are people that pick up the phone or answer the door in the middle of the night so that you can curl up in bed with a warm body. There are people that will take a class for you. There are people that will listen to a country song for you. There are people that will show up, make dinner, get the kids in bed, and then sit down and not make you talk about it. There are people that will drive across the country with you so you don’t have to fly. There are people who offer logical thoughts. There are people that inspire.

I know these people, I could go on and create a tribute to each one. But today, on what very well could become a historic day for this nation, I would like to pay tribute to the friend that introduced me to Barack.



It was perhaps a year and half ago now that Adam and I were chatting about politics and religion, our favorite topics. In the midst of it all we found ourselves discussing Barack Obama, the senator from Illinois. Adam can make a stapler sound interesting so I’ve learned over the past ten years how to decipher the stapler from the truly exciting and intriguing. This conversation brought on a strong desire to know more about the man who was causing quite the rucus. I started my research ~ I’m a nerd.

I spent the next several months researching the Senator; reading his books, reading other’s words about him (his supporters and his critics), understanding his accomplishments, understanding where he’s fallen or failed. I took my time in thinking about this … I have my own views and not all of them coincide with Barack’s. My family freaked out, bless their hearts. My Father linked his daughters ways to a democratic rally he attended in eighth grade, "I knew there would be retribution for that." (Kylee, don't worry, Dad's forgive their daughters!) But in the end, I decided that I believe in Barack as a man and in his ability to bring this country back from the hell that we currently find ourselves in.

And unlike my normal run-away-from-all-good-things tendencies I ran toward this … perhaps it’s a sign of sorts. I got involved in California and upon moving to UT found that there was much to do! I spent my days in the HP office and my nights and weekends with Barack. I organized, went to meetings, organized, knocked on doors, organized, and called a gazillion people. Some were not thrilled to speak with me. While others that I spoke with were open for conversation regarding the Senator. It was in these moments, which were bit missionish, that I was able to speak of my conviction regarding Barack and my hope for the future … I loved every minute of it! (To discuss policy and such, call me! The blog is not the best way to have me put you in your place in regards to the Mormon = Republican theory!)

I still love every minute of it! And as Barack continues his steps forward, as I know he will, I will love it even more. To have a President that is true to himself, true to his family, and true to the country that he loves … well, that is a miracle I’m excited to witness.

So Adam, gracias. You did not push this, you simply cultivated. You offer a fresh pair of untainted eyes to view life. I appreciate those eyes, that insight. And now, as you are continually telling me … GO! GO! GO! Leap, we always find the net! Happiness and adventure are right there!