98% of all females of my generation (a stat I just made up as I typed this) will say that they are more male than female. Phrases you are likely to hear, "I just get along better with the guys," or "I'm just not dramatic like a girl is," and my favorite, "I just don't, like, relate to girls like I do with the guys." It's all the same sentiment and its all a bit of a sham. The truth of the matter, we are girls and we relate just fine with our own sex but admitting that takes a humility that few of us have. We understand what the girl is feeling when she breaks down in the middle of an episode of Greys. We get the irrational outburst in the middle of Target when the stretchy blue jeans with cute white stars aren't to be found in our size. We all genuinely smile when we see the mom in the park with her two year old on the swing. And our hearts burst a little bit when we introduce one female friend to another and they actually like one another. If all females, myself numbered among that mass, would simply state the truth of the matter, "I like the attention I get from men more than the attention I get from women," we'd all be standing on a bit more of an honest ground.
And from this honest ground I offer the solution's to the world's problems. I speak as a heterosexual female, the solutions to the world's problems may need to be altered a bit for others. Women are inherently kind and good. We often lose that due to being screwed over (sorry Grams, I couldn't think of the appropriate colloquial for 'screwed over' that you would approve of and other's would understand). But it's within us to be sweet and kind, to be generous and sincere more than it is to be brassy and crass (sass is different, that's the salty to the caramel that makes us so fantastic!). But this behavior needs to be encouraged. PMA, Positive Male Attention, is the key. As girls and women receive PMA we feel secure in our shoes and will go and conquer the demons of the world.
I am a perfect example of PMA throughout life. I grew up in a home with Papa who sincerely told me he loved me each night. Each evening as I read during 'quiet time' he would say "Sunshine, you are just so smart! You've read so quickly," or "Your brain is so happy you are making it smart by reading those words." I had brother's that learned from their Papa and treated their sister's with equal admiration and praise, "Kas, you sang so well today in rehearsal," or (my favorite perhaps of all times, thank you Buba) "My sister's aren't so pretty before getting ready but once they make that effort ... WATCH OUT!" Brother's friends were generous in their compliments and their flirtations. Gramps convinced me I could conquer corporate America one day at a time and his confidence in me has yet to waiver. Uncles are quick to commend my choices, even when they may have been what they would have chosen. I was never told I could not, the world was mine for the taking. But they all have also been so quick to encourage the softer side of me. "Kas, you were so good to sit with Aunt Betty today. You both looked so happy," or "I'm proud of you for not railing on your cousin after she made that comment, you and I both know it was ridiculous but she didn't need to be told that in front of everyone." They cultivated all parts of me by giving me that Positive Male Attention.
The Churchy side of me will now take a moment. My relationship with Deity is real, tangible. Last summer I had a blip on the life radar when I wasn't quite on solid ground. I talked with several people, one of whom has never worshiped as I have but he is one who I trust more than most. In one of our conversations when I was far from any path at all he said, "Kas, go talk to your God. Be honest with Him. You may not find that 3 hours of Church is necessary but I know you. You are dark and twisty because you and your God aren't in a good place." He was spot on. I know when I kneel at my beside or speak aloud in the car to the Heavens that my Father in Heaven is hearing my words. I speak to Him candidly. And I am certain that He not only hears the words I speak but He hears what I am trying to say between all of those words. He trusts me, I feel that deep within my heart. He laughs when I make ridiculous accusations towards Him and is patient as I figure this life out. But He is there, constant. Of this I am certain. And this is the perfect form of PMA.
And I'm me. Take me or leave me, I've got the confidence to overcome the latter because I know I'm a little bit fantastic, due to PMA. I've often been asked where I gain my confidence and the answer is PMA. And I seek after it in my life. I gravitate to men who will praise my strengths and constructively help me with my weaknesses. Some may say this is a HORRIBLE way to live, depending on men for my self esteem. I could not disagree more. I stand on my own two feet, making my own choices, and confident in my decisions. I do not allow negative male attention in my life, I will not be walked on nor will I watch those I love be walked on. I stand up for myself. I am a strong woman and I am changing the world.
I believe that PFA (Positive Female Attention) is equally as necessary for men. The bottom line isn't hard to discover, Positive Attention is key to a better world. Sincere praise and kindness to those that we face each day will change the world. When I am confident in myself, I am willing to see the greatness in others because I do not question that their greatness will minimize my own. We can all be great, productive, and happy at the same time. Seeing this greatness within yourself is the first step. And often, people see themselves better in a mirror, when others around them are showing them by their words who they see. Am I making any sense? I am.
I should probably put my thoughts together with fewer words and send them to Kid President so he can tell the world what I've discovered, they'll listen to him.
