Four years today I was in an office in West Valley, I was an
Anxious Annie but with the confidence and hope of literally hundreds buoying me
up and reminding me ‘we can’ I kept a smile on my face. I had taken off the entire week before off
from my 9-5 job to knock doors with the volunteers, organize the masses, sit on
strategy calls and focus on getting the Senator from Chicago the delegates from
UT, all of them. Michelle had been in town the first week of February, igniting
our base to hit the streets and house-meetings to discuss the CHANGE that would
come when the Junior Senator made it to the house at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. We
hit a lull from late March to mid-May, our volunteers were tired and the
general public was already growing tired of the conversation but the fire was re-kindled
and burnt brightly that last month.
There was not a single night that I could be found at home … I was a
busy bee making a difference. And the day had finally come, we were going to
see if people listened.
We left the office at about noon to drive by the some of the
polls. There were our volunteers, making
the 11th hour difference. My
heart was full, so full. Dave, driving,
laughed and said, “Kas, you’re making that Mormon happy face.” I took a drink
of my Coke and told him to keep driving while in my mind I thought, “That’s
because I am happy!” We drove for about an hour and a half, watching America
stand up {warm political fuzzies}.
We made it back to the office as our staff’s anxiety was
peaking. We busted out the honey wheat
pretzels and Pepsi, the decided favorite of our crowd {I obviously was nursing
my anxiety with Coke} and kept making phone calls, the polls were still open
for hours. My voice got pitchy at about
six that evening, the Coke and pretzels not soothing me at all. One of our regulars laughed and reminded me
that ‘we had done all we could have’ it was time to have faith. Ah, faith … faith in what exactly? Faith in others to interrupt their routine
and vote? Faith that Obama’s message had not only hit the hearts and inspired
hope in people but also made the same sense in their minds as it had mine?
Faith in my own vote? I went from pitchy to quiet and contemplative in about
thirty-eight seconds. Had I done all I could have? Did I convey my own trust in
this man to others? Did they get it? Someone went to the fridge and got me
another Coke.
I started to get the texts asking what the results looked
like at about 6 or so … as if I had a magic 8 ball. Dave and I looked at one another and rolled
our eyes. We knew that our time at the
helm of this ship was up, someone from HQ would be in shortly to run things
more efficiently. We probably should
have enjoyed that evening a bit more, laughed aloud so that others could hear
our sheer joy in the moment and smiled more often to convey our gratitude for
their time and energy in a cause that drove us all … I know to do that next time.
As our phones indicated the eight o’clock hour we all just
stopped where we were, dead in our tracks. I’ll never forget Susanne’s voice
cutting through the silence, “Hell, what do we do now?” I fell over laughing, I
wasn’t actually sure. News crews were on
site, they had been for a few hours at that point. I made myself busy with mindless organization
of empty boxes, we had no signs/buttons/posters left. The televisions were
on. Somewhere deep inside I knew we had
done it … and we had. 14 of our 23
delegates were slotted for the man I believe in … yes, I still believe in
him. There was a sigh of relief, a huge
sigh of relief. And I smiled that
content smile. We had done it. No one wanted to leave the office that night,
I was certain I’d make camp on the couch.
I miss the couch. I
miss that drive and purpose. I miss our
strategy calls and hearing ‘Mormon, what are your thoughts on this?’ when
cultural UT issues arose. I miss the passion
that I felt getting me up at 5 so that I could accomplish the work that paid
the bills so that I could get to the work that fed my soul, yes it truly did.
I voted today and then wandered {I may or may not have
detoured past that office} into my 9-5 office, my calendar full of things to do
for Corporate America … things I’m very good at doing. But there is not that passion. I’m working towards a lot of things, changing
a lot of things, coming closer with each day to that passion.
A new guy at my office, he doesn’t know me well, said that
today doesn’t matter. Excuse me?!? Today
matters, even in red Utah, today matters. Your vote counts. My vote counts. GO VOTE UTAH!! Go VOTE!! I
still believe, I still know … WE CAN!!
