Last night, after a full day of weddings, shows, parties, and everything else thrown in there, we drove home as we do. It was a bit longer than the normal drive home we make so we had a chance to run through the day’s highs and lows prior to the front door. I laughed as you recalled the morning antics that occurred between you and the roommate. You gave me the moments of reflection necessary after a few unnecessary remarks and then chuckled as I realized such and apologized.
Then, five days before Christmas, you ask in such a casual tone “Kas, what do you want for Christmas?” I didn't answer you as quickly as you might have liked so you offered up some suggestions: the invocation at the inauguration, a boat house on the Lake, the Hotel in Mexico … I chose D, all of the above. Then, in the serious voice I have heard much of lately, you asked the question again. I told you I would get back to you. We laughed and made it home without any more talk of it and yet, before our goodnights, you reminded me that I needed to give an answer to you. I appreciate the extension and am now ready to give you my list that you may deliver to the Big Guy.
Dear Santa (in whatever form you may come in this year),
I know you’ve been watching, Cassidy said she sent Sneaky (for those of you unfamiliar with him, Sneaky is the Elf assigned to watch over Cassidy and Eli) over to watch me while Grandma was out there. She knows Grandma Phyllis reports directly to the Big Guy, that would be you. Your record is probably better than mine and I might be reaching far for these items but you do as you see fit after you’ve looked over Sneaky’s notes.
1. I’d like peace on earth. I know, many sing about it and I’d bet even more pray for it. But I’ve watched as a household full of hurt and betrayal becomes a home of love and acceptance. I’ve watched as an office staffed with apathetic and selfish individuals becomes a workplace full of caring, understand, and patient people. If we can do this on an individual level it is possible on a global level. I’ve given my advice to the people that I know, some of whom have quite a bit of power now. But I’m thinking they might take said advice a bit better from you, you’re wise in your more mature age and have seen many more populations go from rags-riches-rags. So maybe you can swing by the country capitals and pop in at the UN meeting (that’s just for show though) to tell people that it’s about the Golden Rule, it’s about selflessness, it’s about the happiness of the lowest of servants and the poorest of beggars. The disputes over oil and land, the guns, the genocides, the religious disputes, the angry acts of racism, the bombs dropping … these can be stopped, we just have to be aware of what is going on. I know that we’ve put good people in places of power and decisions, I worked hard to see that happen, they’re already working toward this end goal. Please teach the others selflessness and charity, peace will follow.
2. I’d like to live without the cell phone. It’s true. Don’t bring me an IPhone or the phone John’s endorsing. I’d like enjoy a whole week without it. I know they are helpful, after the accident a few weeks ago and with the parental unit as in its current state, I would go so far to say that they are incredibly helpful. But for one week, seven days, I’m asking you to take it away. I want to live from moment to moment, not voicemail to text. I’ll write letters if I want to say something, I’ll use email if its urgent. I want to sit at Dad’s feet and listen to him tell a story without an electronic devise interrupting. I’d like to play a game and listen to the Uncle’s get agitated at their losing status without a delay because someone had to finish sending a text. I’d like to sing around the piano and only hear voices, not ringtones. I’d like this Christmas to be a bit simpler, a bit calmer, a bit disconnected from the fast paced world I find myself in. Please, take away the phone.
3. I’d like to remember the lessons I learned yesterday. I’d like to remember the feelings that were felt. I’d like to remember the smiles that were shared. I’d like them to stay fresh in my memory and not fade with time. I want my desire and drive to be as strong in six months as it was listening to those promises and assurances yesterday morning. I’d like to remember to be check my inpatient tendencies at the door as I remember those who waited on the Lord centuries before His coming and did so with hearts full of hope and faith. I’d like to remember and feel ready and willing to move forward, in spite of my natural tendencies to run. I’d like to remember the satisfaction and contentment I felt as said goodnight to that person I have as my person. I’d like these memories of yesterday to be as fresh as they are today for the next 365 tomorrows, please.
Three things, that’s it. I didn’t want to make things too complicated for you, I know Cass and E have asked for fewer things too so you should make it back to Mrs. Claus before dinner this year.
We’ll have cookies and carrots for you and the reindeer as usual, I think Sammy is in charge this year but I’ll be sure to double check to make sure you’re favorites are on there. Oh, one last thing. Cass has been worried that Sneaky is getting cold, CA is awfully cold this year for some reason. She’s left an old pair of gloves for him in her ‘secret place’ … can you pass that information along?
GET SOME SLEEP and FLY SAFE!
22.12.08
17.12.08
Smiling Again
I almost lost it … almost. But logic set in and nerves were calmed. The reality of what could be was stated simply and plainly and by some miracle I heard. That’s what counts, not the stress induced radical decisions. I was forgiven, without thought or perhaps with thought but no vocalization of process ~ a skill I have yet to master. So I’m smiling, I’m excited for the New Year and the weeks to follow.
I’m smiling because the sun shone perfectly through my window this morning and onto the newest pictures of C&E and you understood why that made me have an extra bounce in my step as we made our way in.
I’m smiling because I can fall asleep knowing that the beautiful snow keeps falling and offers a new clean beginning to tomorrow.
I’m smiling because the chill in the air gives me the perfect excuse to change into comfy non-work clothes and snuggle up with a good book or favorite episode of Mer and know that in just a few minutes I’ll be seeing you do the same thing… this might be my favorite.
I’m smiling because as I tell State Farm agent about my little Saturn I am reminded that you were there to help me pick it out, stating it held many other fun things, not children. Will you be here to help me pick out a new non-child-holding car or will I have to make a few phone calls to get the okay?
I’m smiling because as I saw your sister the other day she reminded me of how funny we are and how we set the curve as to the ‘cool adult’ status with the kids and how if I hold the little guy he simply asks where you are. I’m never certain who is more excited to see you, him or me.
I’m smiling because it’s almost Christmas and our talks and visits now end with those sweet sentiments, memories, hopes and dreams …
I’m smiling because each time I get into the car I hear that ridiculous Christmas song you love so much.
I’m smiling because when I told you of the performance Mom has orchestrated for Christmas Eve you laughed and said, “Your Dad will love that.”
I'm smiling because I know on Christmas day the smile I see will mean more to me than the gifts that I hold.
I’m smiling because I am still here, you are still here, we all are still here.
Bottom line … things got sketchy for a minute, sorry about that … but I’m smiling now because of you.
I’m smiling because the sun shone perfectly through my window this morning and onto the newest pictures of C&E and you understood why that made me have an extra bounce in my step as we made our way in.
I’m smiling because I can fall asleep knowing that the beautiful snow keeps falling and offers a new clean beginning to tomorrow.
I’m smiling because the chill in the air gives me the perfect excuse to change into comfy non-work clothes and snuggle up with a good book or favorite episode of Mer and know that in just a few minutes I’ll be seeing you do the same thing… this might be my favorite.
I’m smiling because as I tell State Farm agent about my little Saturn I am reminded that you were there to help me pick it out, stating it held many other fun things, not children. Will you be here to help me pick out a new non-child-holding car or will I have to make a few phone calls to get the okay?
I’m smiling because as I saw your sister the other day she reminded me of how funny we are and how we set the curve as to the ‘cool adult’ status with the kids and how if I hold the little guy he simply asks where you are. I’m never certain who is more excited to see you, him or me.
I’m smiling because it’s almost Christmas and our talks and visits now end with those sweet sentiments, memories, hopes and dreams …
I’m smiling because each time I get into the car I hear that ridiculous Christmas song you love so much.
I’m smiling because when I told you of the performance Mom has orchestrated for Christmas Eve you laughed and said, “Your Dad will love that.”
I'm smiling because I know on Christmas day the smile I see will mean more to me than the gifts that I hold.
I’m smiling because I am still here, you are still here, we all are still here.
Bottom line … things got sketchy for a minute, sorry about that … but I’m smiling now because of you.
8.12.08
Winter Wonderland
No, there is no snow here yet. I'll be honest, I'm sad about it. But this ... this almost makes up for the lack of the beautiful white stuff on the ground.
It's got to be said ... let's call boy B, not too difficult to follow that arcronym. B tosses information at you and knows the overwhelmed, deer-in-headlights-look is going to remain for a bit as information is processed. B wins a bit of G back in one quick swoop, G ~ short for girl, when this is waiting for her before she even gets home from saying nothing more than goodnight.
Here's to a Winter Wonderland where ever you may be!
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