Today Matters

Four years today I was in an office in West Valley, I was an Anxious Annie but with the confidence and hope of literally hundreds buoying me up and reminding me ‘we can’ I kept a smile on my face.  I had taken off the entire week before off from my 9-5 job to knock doors with the volunteers, organize the masses, sit on strategy calls and focus on getting the Senator from Chicago the delegates from UT, all of them. Michelle had been in town the first week of February, igniting our base to hit the streets and house-meetings to discuss the CHANGE that would come when the Junior Senator made it to the house at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. We hit a lull from late March to mid-May, our volunteers were tired and the general public was already growing tired of the conversation but the fire was re-kindled and burnt brightly that last month.  There was not a single night that I could be found at home … I was a busy bee making a difference. And the day had finally come, we were going to see if people listened.

We left the office at about noon to drive by the some of the polls.  There were our volunteers, making the 11^th hour difference.  My heart was full, so full.  Dave, driving, laughed and said, “Kas, you’re making that Mormon happy face.” I took a drink of my Coke and told him to keep driving while in my mind I thought, “That’s because I am happy!” We drove for about an hour and a half, watching America stand up {warm political fuzzies}.

We made it back to the office as our staff’s anxiety was peaking.  We busted out the honey wheat pretzels and Pepsi, the decided favorite of our crowd {I obviously was nursing my anxiety with Coke} and kept making phone calls, the polls were still open for hours.  My voice got pitchy at about six that evening, the Coke and pretzels not soothing me at all.  One of our regulars laughed and reminded me that ‘we had done all we could have’ it was time to have faith.  Ah, faith … faith in what exactly?  Faith in others to interrupt their routine and vote? Faith that Obama’s message had not only hit the hearts and inspired hope in people but also made the same sense in their minds as it had mine? Faith in my own vote? I went from pitchy to quiet and contemplative in about thirty-eight seconds. Had I done all I could have? Did I convey my own trust in this man to others? Did they get it? Someone went to the fridge and got me another Coke.

I started to get the texts asking what the results looked like at about 6 or so … as if I had a magic 8 ball.  Dave and I looked at one another and rolled our eyes.  We knew that our time at the helm of this ship was up, someone from HQ would be in shortly to run things more efficiently.  We probably should have enjoyed that evening a bit more, laughed aloud so that others could hear our sheer joy in the moment and smiled more often to convey our gratitude for their time and energy in a cause that drove us all …  I know to do that next time.

As our phones indicated the eight o’clock hour we all just stopped where we were, dead in our tracks. I’ll never forget Susanne’s voice cutting through the silence, “Hell, what do we do now?” I fell over laughing, I wasn’t actually sure.  News crews were on site, they had been for a few hours at that point.  I made myself busy with mindless organization of empty boxes, we had no signs/buttons/posters left. The televisions were on.  Somewhere deep inside I knew we had done it … and we had.  14 of our 23 delegates were slotted for the man I believe in … yes, I still believe in him.  There was a sigh of relief, a huge sigh of relief.  And I smiled that content smile.  We had done it.  No one wanted to leave the office that night, I was certain I’d make camp on the couch.

I miss the couch.  I miss that drive and purpose.  I miss our strategy calls and hearing ‘Mormon, what are your thoughts on this?’ when cultural UT issues arose.  I miss the passion that I felt getting me up at 5 so that I could accomplish the work that paid the bills so that I could get to the work that fed my soul, yes it truly did.

I voted today and then wandered {I may or may not have detoured past that office} into my 9-5 office, my calendar full of things to do for Corporate America … things I’m very good at doing.  But there is not that passion.  I’m working towards a lot of things, changing a lot of things, coming closer with each day to that passion.

A new guy at my office, he doesn’t know me well, said that today doesn’t matter.  Excuse me?!? Today matters, even in red Utah, today matters. Your vote counts.  My vote counts. GO VOTE UTAH!! Go VOTE!! I still believe, I still know … WE CAN!!