I quit my job. Yes, that job that I loved with my whole heart that was so flexible and so kind and my family of sorts, I quit. It wasn't exactly planned but it most certainly was the correct decision for me. The days leading up to my final day held all of the drama that the previous six years did not but I felt such overwhelming support that I did not flinch when I gave my notice and left that 'home'. So, don't fret over me, I'm good.
Yes, there are the occasional Sunday evenings where I hear someone begin to whine about work the next day and the Anxious Annie comes out ... shouldn't I be whining? Shouldn't I be leaving at a decent hour to sleep (ha, that's never been a decision I've made, even with seven o'clock calls on Monday)? Shouldn't I be dressed in more than jeans and my white T or leggings on a Thursday afternoon? The answer to all of these questions at current time is a fervent NO. I'm good.
The summer sans work has been delightful. A friend of mine, moments after the drama came to a halt with my exit, called and said, "Let's hop in the Prius and go to California." So I did that. There is something about sitting underneath a lemon tree with the men of my life that settles the soul. There is something about sitting up with Robs until 4 am that reminds me that no matter the circumstance there is a home for me in that room that once was Uncle's office. There is something about the hustle and bustle of a morning with Girlfriend and Cowboy that puts everything into perspective, a hopeful and hilarious perspective. There is something about throwing a football in the sand after being swept up in waves for a half an hour that makes my heart so happy. There is something about laying by the pool with Aunt Charma, discussing the growth of the cousins that I remember as babies, that reminds me that life is moving on with or without me. And there is something about being 187 miles from my bed and having a bit of a break down and having a driver with a calm and steady voice reminding me that life is going on with me. I'm good.
I returned to only hop into Joe with favorites and head to Jackson Hole. Excuse me world, did you know that Jackson Hole is one of the most beautiful places to exist? It is. We spent Sunday at the foot of the Lake, discussing all things of importance. We solved the world's problems and figured out why people aren't married (to be clear, none of the company is in a serious relationship). We climbed up the mountain and my mind got lost in the sound of the rushing water. It was breath taking, every view from every climb. I may or may not be contemplating buying a lot of green and khaki colored clothing and moving there for the remainder of my days. I haven't yet. I'm good.
Tomorrow I'm leaving for a north trip, Logan/Bear Lake/Idaho. I am certain it will be just as delightful as my previous excursions. I'm good.
On an entirely separate note but a soapbox I would like to stand on for a moment ... Dating resumes. Evening last I was sitting around the fire (I'll be generous and call it such) with a new group of fellas, a good group of good looking guys. We discussed sports for a long time and I held my own. We discussed politics for a minute and I held my own. Then we discussed dating and the fact that resumes would be quite beneficial, I may have gotten quiet and found no solid ground for this topic. I spent the majority of last night thinking what my resume would look like, the references I could offer, and what might be said by said references. HA! I'd have to coach them through those conversations.
Potential Man: So does Kasi speak openly about things?
Reference: HA! Have you ...
Me (whisper): SHHH!! Say, "Kasi speaks openly about things, yes." I do, I speak openly about sports!
Potential Man: Okay, does she push a relationship too quickly?
Reference: HA! Have you met ...
Me (loud whisper): SHHHH!! Say, "Don't use the word relationship with her and she'll be okay with you pushing it when the time is right."
Reference (to me): Have you met you?!?
Potential Man: Does Kasi have issues with commitment?
Reference: HA! Have you met her?!
Me (kicking him): SHHH!!! Say, "Kasi is a loyal person."
Perhaps references won't be necessary?!?! I could simply offer the things I'm good at, the things all of my married males friends list every time the "Kasi, why aren't you married?" conversation occurs (these are my married friends that I didn't date). And, here's the kicker, I think moving forward in dating I will be certain to be the gal that could have the guy offer a reference, without coaxing, to the next guy. That's an excellent goal ... something that may be difficult as I've got some dating/car buying habits that run deep ("My experience finding a new car ~ I think I love it but then I sit in it for the second or third time and wonder if I really do love it or if there is a better choice just down the road at the other dealership. So I go to the other dealership and find a car that I love. I decide on that one but then get it in again and wonder if I loved the other one at the other dealership more or perhaps if there is one on another lot somewhere that will fit better ... I am annoyed with my own behavior {and should likely apologize to every guy I've ever dated for my decision pattern}."). But I'm making this a public conversation, so I'm accountable to the 67 of you that frequent this place. I can change, heck, I LEFT MY JOB!! I can be an adult in a relationship!! So, there is that. I'm good.
1 comment:
Missed your writing...
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