If it Happened on Greys ...

... it's real to me.

Do you remember as last year wrapped up when Lexie told Mark where she stands, where she'll always stand, where she wants to stand?  I need to have this conversation but ...  Adam will do it, I should just let Adam do it. He'd like to do it. It would at the very least put the nail in the promise.  The words may not be as tempered but the point would certainly be made, with some color.  They do fit though ... sometimes ... BLAH!

In other news ~ Favorite roommate of P2 got married yesterday.  We were outside {BEAUTIFUL night here in this little place I call home} for the majority of the night decimating Favorite's side of the jeep {Bride's side was all clean per the request of Favorite}.  It was good we were outside, I'm just not a stand-in-line-eat-the-creme-puff-appreciate-the-twinkly-lights-make-small-chat-with-the-random-aunt kind of girl.  Favorite moment of Favorite's day? Well, it surely was the fact that P2 was certain my tights were zombie art {rather than the fall-ish flowers that they actually were} for a bit and was all sorts of thrilled ... true story.

Papa's Girl but Mother's Daughter

I may be my Papa’s girl but I am my mother’s daughter.  Proof?

Friday afternoon we had to go to the grocery store for the supplies for Sunday’s dinner and the breakfast I was creating for a late second dinner that evening.  I hate the grocery store.  This is not an unfounded feeling!  It’s because I’m not there often enough to know where things are and I end up wandering for many more minutes than would be necessary if I knew the store.  I was trying to put on a happy face, time was short for us {per usual} and I did not want an ornery moment to ruin even a minute.  But we couldn’t find the pumpkin puree.  For three aisles I kept my mouth shut.  I scanned the shelves but could find nothing and hiding my frustration vibes is impossible.  Special words ran through my mind but were not released.  Finally he asked, “Kas, do you want me to help you?”  I hid the roll of my eyes and nodded my head.  He took the cart and led the way, back three aisles.  There on the second to last shelf sat the puree.  DANG HIM!! It was at this moment that I expressed my HATRED for the grocery store.  He did his best not to laugh in my face but failed. It wasn't until we sat at dinner that I finally let go of my frustration and laughed about it all.

Saturday Doc and I made a trip to Tai Pan Wholesale {or something to that end}.  I was so excited as the end result was Christmas but quickly got overwhelmed with all of the pretty/sparkly/shiny/breaky items on the shelves {sticking out of the shelves and hitting my head as I walked past}.  We went through a doorway and Christmas smacked us in the face.  THERE WAS SO MUCH!! He was asked if I liked a sort-of-sparkly-pinecone set or a super-sparkly-pinecone set and I replied the sort-of-sparkly set with a bit of a frown on my face as I was not thrilled with the sparkles.  He picked up on that {I’m not sure if he should get credit for being observant or if I should learn to have a bit of a better poker face} and then pulled some non-sparkly-pinecones and said, “These.”  I smiled and said sincerely, “This is why I keep you around Doc.”  As my words escaped my mouth I immediately heard a laugh.  It was not the deep laugh of Doc.  It was almost a snorted laugh as it was attempted to be stifled.  I turned to discover U {He was decked out in his Ute gear}, probably mid-thirties slightly balding friend, following around his wife or sister. Then I started to giggle, my anxiety of all of these decisions {silver/gold, pine/more pine, thick ribbon/skinny ribbon, red/red {yep, two different reds} fading away into nothing as SOMEONE understood.  We still spent an hour roaming those aisles but every 15 min or so U would walk by and we would share a mutual understanding and nod. Please do NOT misunderstand, I am more than thrilled for my Christmas and more than thrilled for the time Doc and I spent laughing {as he was humorous as we walked through his happy place}.  But I am not comfortable in this store, I don't have knowledge of things in this store.  I have to ask so many questions and then be asked so many questions about my opinions. Even my credit card company thought it was funny that I was there – they don’t deny my card at the clubs in LA at 2 am {purchasing Coke} but the RED FLAGS go up when I’m at a wholesale ‘make house and home pretty’ place … that made me laugh!

And then we have yesterday.  Sunday dinner.  I do not claim to be a chef/baker, in fact I often claim the contrary.  But it’s fall, which is almost my favorite.  And it’s pumpkin taste time, which is one of my favorite tastes.  And so for my family, which I love so very much, I cooked out of a pumpkin ~ for 12 people.  As I listened to Christmas music {putting me in a happy place for the cooking moments} I laughed, an apron clad Kasi in her tights browning meat, gutting a pumpkin, and dicing the onions.  Only for those I love and only if the presentation is appropriate.

How are these incidents reminding me that I am like my mother?  Have you met my mother?!? But I’m also my Papa’s girl as at the end of the night on Saturday we hopped in the car to get the best ice cream in the state as a reward for me being an adult about a particular situation.  And yesterday we settled in underneath the train blanket and watched a funny film and then ridiculous youtube videos.

Feet Firmly(ish) Planted Where I Am

Or something like that ... even though my initial reaction was more like this ...

In other news my A-team had a rather big night last night {understatement of the year}.  Ace was on Raising Hope {found here} ~ just a Primetime television production with a Goonie.  Adam produced playwright Lance Black's 8 ... on Broadway.  Changing the world, taking a stand, making a difference.  I may feel like this little blonde above inside 99% of the time but this devilishly good looking man below on the left, Doc, and the guy found at minute 18:15 in the HULU link above remind me to be brave, to keep my feet where I can grow. 

The earth rotated this morning and the sun came into view, it was beautiful.

I Love Matt

He's my favorite. 98 sleeps 'till Christmas {I'm counting} and two less 'till this face is on the big screen in a film I'm already certain will make me fall a bit more in love {I don't love Scarlett J in ANYTHING but Matt may be enough to help break me of that}.



Great ... Yes.

Shirts

I have a new shirt.  It's clean and fits really well.  My other shirts, the ones I've had for years that are comfortable and smell like me, are wondering how long I'll be wearing the new shirt.  After all, most of the time I throw new shirts in the laundry pile after a few weeks, refuse to do the laundry, and just find another new shirt.  So it's not that the other shirts are unfounded in their wondering, it's just that it makes me frustrated with them, the other shirts.

I like that the new shirt isn't like the other shirts, its more casual, its a jersey tshirt of sorts.  There are moments when I wonder about the fit, even though I've already decided it does fit, and I tug at it a bit.  But there are also moments when I forget I'm wearing it because it just ... fits.  Does that make sense? To me it does.

I've got other things to say ... lots of other things to say.  But for today I just thought I'd tell you about my new shirt.