Conjugal Visits

One day post bedtime rituals with Girlfriend and Cowboy we were down stairs discussing life and the like.  I was frustrated about something, he was frustrated about something.  We were sharing our frustrations when Bunk looked at the map on the wall in the other room and rerouted his thoughts.  I continued to vent my frustrations as I watched his brain work our this new idea.  Then the statement that may have changed my life came ...

"Kas, I think the answer is bicoastal marriage."  YES!  Why had I not thought of this before?
{My assumption is that those of you in functional monogamous relationships are saying something like Sam said to Jonah while discussing the long distance relationship viability "1, 2, 3, 4 ... like 26 states between here and there.  Now that's a sign!"  But perhaps it is a good sign!!}

As time marches on I think this is a better and better idea.  I am not an easy person to live with, I like my time and my space and my things.  I have moments when I want to walk or run on my own for hours/days/weeks at a time.  I have days when I do not want another human's opinion or thought.  I can be happy and delightful, on my own terms.  I am not the average romantic and truly believe in the age old cliche ~ absence makes the heart grow fonder. I do not protest when my Uncles, all wise and knowing, make the statement that I will be a much more difficult match now than I was when I was 21, I'm just as certain as they are that this is the case.


So to make things easier on my husband, who I will love and adore with all of my heart, I think that our relationship should span the country.  He can be with me enough to realize that he loves me and not enough to realize he has likely gotten in way over his head.  He can remember why we made those promises but not remember or desire to break them.  He can capture memories in his mind and enjoy them during the week.  He can watch his "Deadliest Catch" while I watch my "Cake Boss" in a completely different local.  I will have my emotional retardation moments Tuesday-Thursday and be fun, romantic {because I will not have been overwhelmed with it during the week}, spontaneous wife Friday-Monday morning, our conjugal visits keeping things hot and exciting.  And I will not get sick of him.  I will not wish him ill moments to cause a delay in his arrival to me.  I will not wonder why he could not be more like {insert appropriate name here that will drive him crazy and cause him to throw a bit of a man-fit}.  I will not look at him and think the thoughts that I sometimes think when I've been with someone for too long and want to take out their vocal box.  I will not grow tired of sweet nothings and romantic moments.  I will be excited to see his face, to hold his hand, to hear his thoughts and opinions, to sit in silence with him, to love him!  I will make a great weekend wife!     


No ... I do not have an issue with commitment, thank you.

And yes ... this was written in jest {well, kind of}.

All Tied Up ...

So I have a few complexes in my life.

One ~ cutting.  When I was in first grade Mrs. Sallerards gave me a -U- {unsatisfactory} in cutting.  Every since I have delegated out all of the cutting in my life ~ seriously.

Two ~ eye make-up.  I have these little eyes that seem to reject any sort of makeup that is put on them.  I find myself coveting my friends with these ginormous eyes who can wear all sorts of colors on their lids, mine are just too tiny.  And the mascara, bless my soul, is always an issue with these little buggers.  It does not matter the brand, residue is left beneath these little eyes enhancing the already-there-Mount-bags.  I hope and pray for a household of boys for many reasons, not the least of which is to avoid the 'I'm sorry, you've got your mom's eyes and they really do look better without any sort of coating' talk with a young daughter all excited about make-up.

Three ~ tying bows.  Some of you may wonder, how does one get a complex regarding tying bows?  Oh, it just so happens that I have collected 12 ~ seriously! ~ designers in my life.  Add to that even dozen a hand full of aunts who could make a tiny ribbon into a beautiful ornament and I've got myself a large complex.  I remember for one family gathering turning to John, the son of one of these aunts, and having him tie the bow on the candles after my frustrated and hideous attempts.  When wrapping gifts ~ which I do a FANTASTIC job at ~ with Robs I would always leave the bows off, knowing that my attempt would be taken off and redone.  I just can't get them to look right, no matter the focus and concentration.  I'm okay with it, really, I have enough people around me that if I need an adequate bow tied it will be done.  While helping one Tall Friend with weddings I was banned, yes, BANNED, from any relationship with ribbon ~ seriously.  Ace and I made a deal that if I am so 'blessed' with daughters that he would be right across the street to tie the bows in the hair {I can do the hair ~ my girl won't look neglected in that department} and on their dresses while I coach his boys through a first-down.  Bows and I just aren't friends!

But today, as I got out of my car and was greeted by Smiling Face I quickly forgot about the four minutes I had spent an hour earlier in front of the mirror cursing the cute red dress with a bow {in the front no less!}.  As the hours progressed my mind truly was freed of the horrible moment of twists, turns, and tugs of the patriotic ribbon attached to the dress.  I had omitted the point in time from just hours earlier when the only place I wanted to be was the San Clemente building with Aubrey at hand to do some miracle tie with this material.  I was happy and had forgotten about this less than mediocre bow I had managed to create.  Until ...

Smiling Face and I were walking to our final meeting when he said "I really do like this thing," as he grabbed the forgotten bow.  I stopped dead in my tracks and turned to face him.  "What?"  "This tie, I like it," he repeated as he held both of the rabbit ears and pulled them tight.  I looked into those blue eyes to see if there was sarcasm lingering ... nope, not an ounce.  I may have 'woot'ed there in the foyer of the church building!  "You like my bow?!?!?" I just wanted to be sure, as this was a first for me. "Sure do," he said. HA!! Yes, I know, it probably shouldn't count if the compliment came from a football-playing-guy who called it a 'tie' rather than a 'bow' but I'm counting it!!  


And so, as the sun sets on this day here in Indianapolis I say to the blogging world, I tied a bow without the assistance of a designer!  And Smiling Face liked it!  HA!! I'm not asking the Big Guy for girls just yet nor offering my services in wedding prep but here's to today's bow, to progress ... as small as it may be!  Tomorrow, maybe I'll cut out a heart or try some eye-shadow!!

Thrown Around

Life is an adventure, of this I am certain. 

Like most children I find myself most comfortable being held closely with a sweet rocking motion beneath me and sung to sleep but if that were all life were ... well, where is the fun in that?  Sometimes being thrown up to see a glimpse of what is to come ... feeling the exhilaration of independence while still knowing that their are Loving Arms to catch you ... smiling and laughing as you experience the wind in your hair ... well, that's the adventure.

I'm up for an adventure right now!

Because You've All Been So Anxious to Know ...

... I have a story for you.  

Once upon a time there lived a girl, she was stubborn and fickle.  She had attempted to make a go of relationships in her past and quit before they produced any fruits {her family is grateful for the early retreat rather than a surprise child, she's certain}.  At 26 she decided to attempt that grownup relationship, the real deal, the three Ds {decided, date, dress}  ... by 27 she knew that she was attempting with the wrong {though lovely} person.  So she packed her bags and ran {an action perfected by girl}.  

Indianapolis, the home of her parents, is where she went to get all whole and healed.  She liked to mourn her loss as most females do, dramatically and deeply.  And although she often found herself 'fine' as she responded to inquires, she knew she was lying through that tiny gap in her front teeth as she spoke that word.  She attempted to fill the hole with projects and make her plate look full to any onlooker so that they could mistake it for happiness and let her be, she did not do that very well.  But she was broken.

Late one night post a conversation with a similar soul she found herself caught up in it all, overwhelmed with an unknown future and broken plans and promises {on both sides of the line}.  Getting off of the phone and turning to the Heavens she let out a notable Ugly Cry and she continued to let it out.  It took more than one night of an ugly cry, more than one month's worth, but as time progressed and she let go she found the peace that was being offered.  She found comfort in prayer at her parent's bedside.  She found that she was able to laugh as the puppy, now sixty lbs and the prettiest dog in the neighborhood, would cuddle up next to her with the sloppiest toy and bob it on her leg to let her know she wanted to play.  She found that she could still smile when Austin {her three year old crush} would make eyes at her over his pew during that 'weally wong chuch' {really long church ~ Sacrament meeting}.  She found that she could talk to happy people without wanting to remind them that it all comes to an end, no matter how much you don't want it to.  She found that she could go out without feeling guilty about it not being with him.  She found that she deserved to move on, as did he.

But her retention is not as good as most.  She forgets, she gets stuck.  So when she found herself in the "City of Joseph" she was expecting nothing out of the ordinary.  A good weekend with her family and ward members, a moment or two with great friends who were performing, and maybe a few quiet moments to reflect on getting a position in Chicago that she was up for ~ this was all she was looking for.  

When you are in that place, with those people, and those people that have gone before ... He can do some work with her, for her.  Over her four day adventure things were said, thoughts were shared, histories were retold and her heart and mind heard instruction.  She was not seeking after it, in fact her initial reaction was to run from it as she did not feel prepared.  But after a 'moment' she realized that her Father in Heaven is more than aware of her fears, He is more than aware of her deepest desires, He is more than aware of her tendencies to go running toward what might be safe and routine.  He would not let her run, she was surrounded by many who would have her face this as He would have her.  

So she's all whole and healed from her heartache and moving to Utah, again. JOY!

Reasons to be excited for this move (occurring the last weekend of July)

*Salt Lake City Library *Sydney *Siblings *Temples *Friends *Canyon drives *Sunday mornings with the Choir *I get to keep my licence plates *Cafe Rio *It's only an hour ahead of CA time rather than three, making those conversations easier *Everyone visits UT *True Aggie stands for something in that state *Hatch Family Chocolate *Birthdays *Oliver *Projects

I got all whole and healed ... 

Fast Forward

Some moments I just want to close my eyes and be here already, white hair and dancing at the Lake ...

... I know, I know ... I'd be missing all the fun.