Conjugal Visits

One day post bedtime rituals with Girlfriend and Cowboy we were down stairs discussing life and the like.  I was frustrated about something, he was frustrated about something.  We were sharing our frustrations when Bunk looked at the map on the wall in the other room and rerouted his thoughts.  I continued to vent my frustrations as I watched his brain work our this new idea.  Then the statement that may have changed my life came ...

"Kas, I think the answer is bicoastal marriage."  YES!  Why had I not thought of this before?
{My assumption is that those of you in functional monogamous relationships are saying something like Sam said to Jonah while discussing the long distance relationship viability "1, 2, 3, 4 ... like 26 states between here and there.  Now that's a sign!"  But perhaps it is a good sign!!}

As time marches on I think this is a better and better idea.  I am not an easy person to live with, I like my time and my space and my things.  I have moments when I want to walk or run on my own for hours/days/weeks at a time.  I have days when I do not want another human's opinion or thought.  I can be happy and delightful, on my own terms.  I am not the average romantic and truly believe in the age old cliche ~ absence makes the heart grow fonder. I do not protest when my Uncles, all wise and knowing, make the statement that I will be a much more difficult match now than I was when I was 21, I'm just as certain as they are that this is the case.


So to make things easier on my husband, who I will love and adore with all of my heart, I think that our relationship should span the country.  He can be with me enough to realize that he loves me and not enough to realize he has likely gotten in way over his head.  He can remember why we made those promises but not remember or desire to break them.  He can capture memories in his mind and enjoy them during the week.  He can watch his "Deadliest Catch" while I watch my "Cake Boss" in a completely different local.  I will have my emotional retardation moments Tuesday-Thursday and be fun, romantic {because I will not have been overwhelmed with it during the week}, spontaneous wife Friday-Monday morning, our conjugal visits keeping things hot and exciting.  And I will not get sick of him.  I will not wish him ill moments to cause a delay in his arrival to me.  I will not wonder why he could not be more like {insert appropriate name here that will drive him crazy and cause him to throw a bit of a man-fit}.  I will not look at him and think the thoughts that I sometimes think when I've been with someone for too long and want to take out their vocal box.  I will not grow tired of sweet nothings and romantic moments.  I will be excited to see his face, to hold his hand, to hear his thoughts and opinions, to sit in silence with him, to love him!  I will make a great weekend wife!     


No ... I do not have an issue with commitment, thank you.

And yes ... this was written in jest {well, kind of}.