And Again ...

Some of you that aren't quite familiar with the Mount/French routine of things are going to think I'm lying. But even those of you that think I'm lying ~ please, take a minute to remember how horrible I am at said action and how quickly you receive a phone call {even in the dead of night ~ these are my fun new little things -{}-, CA sent me an email full of them, a new recent discovery for him and I am stealing his cleverness} because my guilty conscience has overcome me and I need to apologize. Those of you who have known me longer than six months are going to nod and not find it shocking when I tell you ... I'm heading home for another funeral. Yes, that's right, we just had one on Monday and now we will have one on Tuesday.

I'll be honest, I laughed a bit at the Heavens when Dad first told me she was in the hospital ~ seriously?!? The silent tears were shed as I heard the news just a few hours later that she had passed, so quickly. It was then that the slight panic set in, I am still so exhausted from the funeral and the events that accompanied said funeral, I can't do this again. I continued in Coping Kasi mode, as I had never come out of it.

I got in the car and drove, no specific destination. There was a part of me that wanted to yell and scream. I did that. There was a part of me that wanted to just cry. I did not do that. But I did yell and scream some more. When I made it home the roommates were supportive, bless their hearts, and did not make me talk ~ which I appreciate more than I could ever convey. I was grateful for the Food Friend who reminds me that I need to do that by bringing me Paradise {my FAVORITE}. Then Kirst called, randomly, not knowing anything of my past week. Talking with her brought a few tears as we chatted about the frustrations of life. She understood. I was also grateful for Harry Potter, Book 7 is now finished and I'm not quite certain I can have another tragedy occur ~ 3 deaths now ~ without Harry, Ron and Hermione to keep me distracted.

Today was hard. CA tried to get me to talk but I was not about to have that {I do love you very much though}. I got laundry done, unpacked my suitcase from the last funeral, and repacked it. It was then that a friend ~ YAY for such things ~ invited me to get out of the house for something other than errands. I needed human contact, I needed the distraction, so off I went.

I put this face on, this over-joyous smile with the sarcastic eyes and use the word 'peachy' like my Father. I felt myself use this face countless times this evening. I was grateful for the moment when I did not put on this face and asked a friend for a blessing. The loud theatre around us became silent as he spoke, "overly-comforted ... angels around you ... greatly loved," and for that moment in time I felt the peace that I need to keep going.

This happens, death happens. It will continue to happen. I understand that. But for right now, for tonight or this morning, right at this very minute ... I hate it.

Here is the list of things that I do not hate however {yes, my own bit of 'Favorite Things' to get me through}

• Having Spice Girls come on during a 'shuffle' Ipod hour
  
• Grey's Anatomy being back in 20 days ~ don't judge
• Glee coming on next week
• Long showers
• Facebook bickering
• A LARGE Coke ~ the real deal
• Sara and Amy across from me
  
• David and Molly during Madame Guillotine
• Damn rather than Dem
  
• Jon McBride's Pose during curtain call
• White men trying to get the deaf Latin man to understand
• Greg impersentating Molly
• Molly being Molly
• Snorting laughter
• Snorting laughter in response to snorting laughter
  
• Molly on the Segway
• Greg's posture on the Segway
• Megan on the Segway
• Me on the Segway
  
• Adrien singing like she was bleached as a child ~ SHE'S AMAZING!!
• Adrien and Greg singing at 2 am
• Marki {the faithful GPS} getting me home at 2:30
• My key working