Yucky-Love Stuff

FOR THOSE GIRLS THAT ARE 100% GIRL I ADVISE THAT YOU SKIP THIS POST!!

One of my favorite modern day Chic-Flicks is My Best Friends Wedding. I remember sitting in the Labrum's Suburban ~ yes, one of the few cars I can identify without turning to a Muraski or having Ashley close at hand ~ and arranging for the remake of this film when Julianne ends up with him and vowing with the girls present to make our own "Wishin' and Hopin'" video prior to each wedding. I hate when something I know so well, something that is almost as comforting as Julie singing on the hills of Austria or Ursula summoning Flotsam and Jetsam, is thrown back in my face.

I shared with them the plan that had been presented to me for the proposal, it involved four different locations ~ all ridiculously expensive and lavish. It involved corny poems he had found online ~ we're not talking timeless treasures, we're talking CHEESY. It involved something old, something new, something borrowed, and something blue. It took every ounce of me to not make vomiting noises as the plan was being described to me, there was no way in (insert appropriate expletive here) that I could hide my emotions as I was sharing with the three men in my life this plan, I had no desire and even if I did I'm an open book. Each of them listened and made the proper disapproving sounds to keep me going on my rant. Finally as I ended and looked at them, waiting for each of them to concur, my favorite looked at me with his knowing eyes and said, "You and that yucky-love stuff," and laughed! How dare he throw Juliann's words back in my face!

So to clear the air once and for all ... I am a romantic, a hopeless romantic in fact but I am not a cheesy dramatic person. I do believe in love at first sight. I do believe that holding hands is one of the most precious things on the planet. I do believe in love notes. I do believe in winks across the room. I do believe in hair kisses, in kisses in general. I do believe in stopping the car to look at the stars. I do believe in dancing in the kitchen or in the bathroom or on the front porch. I do believe in those moments where everything just falls into place and you know. I believe in it all.

HOWEVER, I do not believe it needs to be this elaborate game. Why can't boy like girl and girl like boy simply? You do not need to be showered with flowers or diamonds to know that you are a part of a successful and happy relationship. You do not need to have an elaborate date every Friday night to prove that you are a good man. I suppose perhaps some do, that is their "LOVE LANGUAGE" but that is not mine! No elaborate scheming, no saving for months or years for some fancy ring, no gathering friends together to video tape and clap when yes is spoken ... NO NO NO NO NO NO NO! Why does it have to be some over-the-top GINORMOUS deal? Isn't that just upstaging what is really happening, two people who love and care for one another committing to being one another's partner through thick and thin, throughout time and eternity? A quiet dinner or as we're walking or just as we're doing what we do and it's the most natural question ~ not something ... Oh, I just could rant about this for hours, they didn't let me though. They tried to call me on my bluff ~ as I have a tendency to be a non-communicating runner in relationships. However, I threw back Juliann's words again, "This is not about longevity (boys), this is about being okay with the yucky-love stuff ... and I am."

Kasi won. As the boys laughed at my retort, adding the fact that communication + the three month bolt factor equals disaster. But for those three months, really two and half as I begin the freak out at the 10 week mark, I love the little things ~ not the-GINORMOUS-over-the-top-let-me-prove-that-I-like-you things. It should be natural not something that you feel you need to prove to the world. Wanting to shout it from the rooftops ~ well, that's a different story ;) Give me a quiet evening at home, each of us with a good book or reading with one another, cuddled up on the couch or in front of the fire and honest conversation. Give me an afternoon on the beach with trashy magazines and stories of high school days. Give me an weekend at Grandma's cabin or even camping. Give me an afternoon in the library where we chose books for one another. Give me a Sunday afternoon ~ dare I even say it?!?! ~ cooking dinner while we discuss important things. Give me a lazy Saturday morning in pajamas watching cartoons like five year-olds. DON'T GIVE ME FLOWERS, they die. DON'T GIVE ME DIAMONDS, I never have been nor will I ever be a girl that likes sparkly things. Give me a card, rip a page out of your moleskin, write it on the back of the receipt. A proposal is, by definition, a huge deal ~ I agree. But I believe, at least for me, it can be special, memorable, romantic, and unique in its simplicity.

The end, I'm getting off of that soap box now.

In other news, friends to laugh with and play at the park with are great. The stories they tell about creepy things ~ not my favorite. Each time I close my eyes I see Jon in a green mask in a mortuary with dead people knocking from under the sheet ...