It has been a while since I've updated this little space of mine {not the format, I like the colors and choosing a new one would lead to hours of searching for something perfect only to end up with something similar to what I have now ~ waste}. It is not that I haven't had anything to say ~ I just have been uncertain about how I feel about what I may be saying. Confused yet? Me too ... Well, kind of.
Tonight Binx had his final Bearproof performance down at this hot little place, almost as hot as the band, in Provo. I decided to make a late afternoon and evening of it and see some people I had been neglecting down in that Valley. Visiting with old and new friends {Betty, nickname given!} was fantastic. But I was a bit preoccupied.
My mind wasn't racing with tons of thoughts, just a few. Baldy {I can call him this as he is bald by choice} and Pumpkin keep a close eye on me and we were mid-text-conversation about the future, or my lack of knowledge regarding said time period. I was not sad, nor frustrated, just contemplative due to such. I parked Bleu at living Uncle's place and took a hike that my PT will not be thrilled with but which led to my other Uncle's place.
He's got the best view. I sat there for a bit and recounted aloud the events of the last little while ~ the weddings, the babies, the frustrations, the laughs, the reminders, the changes, the attempted changes, the moves ect. ect. ect. And then I sat there, quietly. I sat there for a longish period of time. I wasn't waiting for a particular thought or insight into my life. My mind was wandering over moments and I had no desire to reel it in. I'm not sure why I sat there for so long and I began to wonder what was keeping me tied to that bench with these drifting thoughts. Then the sun hit behind the flag {pictured above}. I don't know why this particular view struck me. Perhaps it was my Uncle's love for country, or far-away-Uncle serving in the middle of this war, or UT Uncle finally being close, or Papa sending his sweet non sequitur texts so consistently ... I don't know what it was. But as I stared out onto Happy Valley I began to recount all I have. I have so much. I'm not speaking of the things I have. I'm speaking in that grateful voice, the one my mother gets as she prays when all of us kids are home or Papa presents as he shares his testimony, as I say "I have so much." I'm seeing, for a moment, the bigger picture. My view is one He is granting me, full of hope and happiness, sketched in adventure and fun. Without a doubt there are windy roads leading to a destination I am not perfectly familiar with. But ultimately, it is where I want to be.
I took this moment up on that hill, with the sun setting behind Old Glory. Matt said, back when we celebrated his birthday, that this was the year of 'taking the moments' for him. As he said that I smiled and quietly took the challenge myself. Most of my 'moments' involve Harley sightings or a perfect moonrise. But tonight was perfect, it was my moment. I was granted, without me formally requesting it, a wider view on things ... perspective that I normally would have to borrow from Papa or Matt or Ace. It was mine this evening. I'll take that and hold on.
Tonight Binx had his final Bearproof performance down at this hot little place, almost as hot as the band, in Provo. I decided to make a late afternoon and evening of it and see some people I had been neglecting down in that Valley. Visiting with old and new friends {Betty, nickname given!} was fantastic. But I was a bit preoccupied.
My mind wasn't racing with tons of thoughts, just a few. Baldy {I can call him this as he is bald by choice} and Pumpkin keep a close eye on me and we were mid-text-conversation about the future, or my lack of knowledge regarding said time period. I was not sad, nor frustrated, just contemplative due to such. I parked Bleu at living Uncle's place and took a hike that my PT will not be thrilled with but which led to my other Uncle's place.
He's got the best view. I sat there for a bit and recounted aloud the events of the last little while ~ the weddings, the babies, the frustrations, the laughs, the reminders, the changes, the attempted changes, the moves ect. ect. ect. And then I sat there, quietly. I sat there for a longish period of time. I wasn't waiting for a particular thought or insight into my life. My mind was wandering over moments and I had no desire to reel it in. I'm not sure why I sat there for so long and I began to wonder what was keeping me tied to that bench with these drifting thoughts. Then the sun hit behind the flag {pictured above}. I don't know why this particular view struck me. Perhaps it was my Uncle's love for country, or far-away-Uncle serving in the middle of this war, or UT Uncle finally being close, or Papa sending his sweet non sequitur texts so consistently ... I don't know what it was. But as I stared out onto Happy Valley I began to recount all I have. I have so much. I'm not speaking of the things I have. I'm speaking in that grateful voice, the one my mother gets as she prays when all of us kids are home or Papa presents as he shares his testimony, as I say "I have so much." I'm seeing, for a moment, the bigger picture. My view is one He is granting me, full of hope and happiness, sketched in adventure and fun. Without a doubt there are windy roads leading to a destination I am not perfectly familiar with. But ultimately, it is where I want to be.
I took this moment up on that hill, with the sun setting behind Old Glory. Matt said, back when we celebrated his birthday, that this was the year of 'taking the moments' for him. As he said that I smiled and quietly took the challenge myself. Most of my 'moments' involve Harley sightings or a perfect moonrise. But tonight was perfect, it was my moment. I was granted, without me formally requesting it, a wider view on things ... perspective that I normally would have to borrow from Papa or Matt or Ace. It was mine this evening. I'll take that and hold on.
2 comments:
loved this kas. and the neil gaiman quote below. i love the gaiman. i need a text update on your love life...
A tinge of patriotism, perhaps??? :D
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