I was born of goodly parents. They are the people that the Hallmark Channel writes films about (and for). Together through thick and thin and life has certainly thrown a lot a lot of thick and a lot of thin at them along the way. I could most certainly speak to their goodness, their example, their path for hours.
One thing I will treasure for always is the celebration of Christmas each year. The Friday after Thanksgiving we would pile into the van to go and get our Christmas tree. Without failure there would be an argument among us kids about the tree. Mom's vote always counted for more, so the argument would end abruptly when she would find the 'one'. Papa would trim it and then we would spend the remainder of the day getting the house on Jenkisson ready for Christmas. The following Sunday we would gather on the white couches in the living room to listen to the story of four fighting siblings (just like us) who would serve one another to add straw to the manger for Baby Jesus. Papa would put together the manger and we would draw names. We would go see the lights in town, bake special treats, carol, and serve one another. Gramps would read Luke 2 each Christmas Eve and we would wake, Buba and I always first (even now at a ridiculous hour), only to wait for Grams playing Silent Night on the piano ... the indication that the adults were ready for the madness to begin.
The house, always peaceful due solely to Papa's patience and Mom's diligence, smelled of Christmas, looked like Christmas, felt like Christmas. We most certainly believed in Santa, excuse me ... believe, for if you do not believe you do not receive according to both Santa and Papa. But the month of December has always been focused on how we could better get along as siblings, how we could be better students in the classroom, how we could make our Grandparents smile more, how we could make the stranger on the street laugh. There was not a lot of money when we were younger but we didn't know. Papa and Mom made the Christmas season about growth and giving ... and we rejoice each year.
Each year I am certain that Christmas can not be topped, as last year was the 'favorite'. But already I stand in awe of just how the Christmas Spirit has filled my heart and there are still 11 sleeps until that day. Last year I tried to 'see through the fog' as Uncle had recommended. I made it until 5 Jan. Things have cleared up these last two months. And on Monday night as I sat with Lucking, they were cleared up even further. This morning as I greeted Him I had a few specific asks, before the noon hour I had witnessed His hand and love. He is here.
What I have come to realize is this, 47 readers that frequent this blog (whoever you are) ~ 'I will honour Christmas in my heart.' I will hold it there. I will hold it there in the place of other things that have kept me worried or occupied. I will hold it there for my sake and for yours. I will hold it there so that I will be kind without thought. I will hold it there so I will be generous without regret. I will hold it there so I can hear Him. I will hold it there so I can follow Him. I will hold it there so that come 6 Jan I will still be full of the hope and the bliss that I can find from the Friday after Thanksgiving through 5 Jan. I will hold it there so that I can laugh at the downs and rejoice at the ups. I will hold it there so that I can 'use my words' and be vulnerable. I will hold it there because it is the 'honouring of Christmas' that I truly honor my Savior, who has offered all for my happiness. That I know. I will honor that knowledge by living up to my potential, by growing as I should, by encouraging you to grow, to live up to the greatness that is within you. We are to seek happiness and honor the Gift that makes that possible.
Happy Christmas. Honour it always.
1.12.11
Hairline
The wind is blowing away yesterday and I'm grateful. So very grateful.
In other news ... last night as the Boy-that-would-be-Bing came onto the stage and I immediately had a 'leading man crush'. Yep, he sang just fine. Sure, he danced as well as the rest of them. But it was his stunning hairline that tipped the scales in his favor and won my heart for a few hours. So here I am, confessing to the world, I love the receding hairline ... a lot.
That's all for today.
In other news ... last night as the Boy-that-would-be-Bing came onto the stage and I immediately had a 'leading man crush'. Yep, he sang just fine. Sure, he danced as well as the rest of them. But it was his stunning hairline that tipped the scales in his favor and won my heart for a few hours. So here I am, confessing to the world, I love the receding hairline ... a lot.
That's all for today.
23.11.11
Thanksgiving, Never Forgotten
Some may think I dismiss Thanksgiving all together. We go all out for Halloween, costumes and events fill the calendar for several weeks. Then I turn on that Christmas music the day after the candles in the jack-o-lanterns are blown out ... the counting of sleeps starts back in July.
I don't forget Thanksgiving, nor do I dismiss it. Yesterday I called Grams to get the recipe for her beans {as Buba made a special request} and we both realized why, for the last several years, this holiday in particular has been so difficult. You see, Uncle Mike was always around for Thanksgiving. We didn't get him at Christmas or on birthdays. We were out there once every other year to help him with the car cleaning and to have him sing his songs in his big houses in California. But he came home, to the Lake, every year at Thanksgiving. Yes, work is what brought him and took him early Friday morning each year. But he was there, throwing the football with us, laughing at the ridiculous jokes we created, asking me to iron his jeans, smiling with a look of love as I divulged my life plans to him. He's not home for Thanksgiving, he hasn't been for six years now.
There are still times when I find myself speaking aloud to him, asking questions or venting. I am certain during the moments I am filled with unrelenting passion for a project or find myself 'manipulating' {not a BAD thing as he taught me}a situation with finesse he is there, watching and perhaps pushing me. Whenever I hold Cass' hand or watch Cowboy catch a football I say a little prayer that they keep the good parts of their father. When I laugh with Robs at ridiculous hours of the morning over situations we've discussed for years a part of my heart hopes that she knows he is laughing with us. I miss him.
In spite of this ache, I love tomorrow. I love the warm memories it cultivates. I love the laughter that cascades into December and offers the perfect prologue to Christmas. I love the smells that linger. I love the football games. I love the hours of preparation with company that judges aloud but loves without question. I love the conversation around the table. I love the quiet evening with pianos being played, voices singing together (some louder than others), children laughing in 'play rooms' and Gramps' snore underneath it all.
I have much to be grateful for, many reasons to wake up smiling and sleep soundly each night. *Gdoc with Ace *Bleu working steadily *Run-away-weekends *Adam's reminders of who I get to be *Cuddly Saturday nights *Being Gramps' favorite *Uncle living close *Being surrounded by the mountains while dreaming of the Lake *Guitar serenades *Holidays with Pip *Train Blanket *Scents that throw me back ten years *Grams' Friday Calls *Uncle Matt coming home from Iraq in a month *Jacob's random responses *Brothers' hard work ethics *Roommates Boyfriends being gentlemen *Mom and Dad being steady as the sun *Work being so accommodating and generous *Laughter that makes the stomach ache *Hair that can change colors and still look incredible *Finding a love for cooking *Happiness and success in marriages *Bishop that listens *Freebees *Climbing up the stairs to bed *Advil *Letters *Whiteboarding life *Girls Nights *Favorites *Nail Polish *Blue eyes *Morning texts *Aunts teachings and patience *Clean house
I am grateful to Papa and Mom for their constant reminders of what truly matters in this life. I don't remember a time in my life when our doors weren't open to someone who had lost their way. Not only do they provide, with their meager incomes, physically for the lost but also emotionally and spiritually. They offer a foundation that is steady and unchanging, that found in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. They bare testimony each day of truth that guides them. They unabashedly stand for goodness each day. And again, this year, they take in another. Offering someone else their home, their time, their love.
I am grateful for the moments and the memories ...
I don't forget Thanksgiving, nor do I dismiss it. Yesterday I called Grams to get the recipe for her beans {as Buba made a special request} and we both realized why, for the last several years, this holiday in particular has been so difficult. You see, Uncle Mike was always around for Thanksgiving. We didn't get him at Christmas or on birthdays. We were out there once every other year to help him with the car cleaning and to have him sing his songs in his big houses in California. But he came home, to the Lake, every year at Thanksgiving. Yes, work is what brought him and took him early Friday morning each year. But he was there, throwing the football with us, laughing at the ridiculous jokes we created, asking me to iron his jeans, smiling with a look of love as I divulged my life plans to him. He's not home for Thanksgiving, he hasn't been for six years now. There are still times when I find myself speaking aloud to him, asking questions or venting. I am certain during the moments I am filled with unrelenting passion for a project or find myself 'manipulating' {not a BAD thing as he taught me}a situation with finesse he is there, watching and perhaps pushing me. Whenever I hold Cass' hand or watch Cowboy catch a football I say a little prayer that they keep the good parts of their father. When I laugh with Robs at ridiculous hours of the morning over situations we've discussed for years a part of my heart hopes that she knows he is laughing with us. I miss him.
In spite of this ache, I love tomorrow. I love the warm memories it cultivates. I love the laughter that cascades into December and offers the perfect prologue to Christmas. I love the smells that linger. I love the football games. I love the hours of preparation with company that judges aloud but loves without question. I love the conversation around the table. I love the quiet evening with pianos being played, voices singing together (some louder than others), children laughing in 'play rooms' and Gramps' snore underneath it all.
I have much to be grateful for, many reasons to wake up smiling and sleep soundly each night. *Gdoc with Ace *Bleu working steadily *Run-away-weekends *Adam's reminders of who I get to be *Cuddly Saturday nights *Being Gramps' favorite *Uncle living close *Being surrounded by the mountains while dreaming of the Lake *Guitar serenades *Holidays with Pip *Train Blanket *Scents that throw me back ten years *Grams' Friday Calls *Uncle Matt coming home from Iraq in a month *Jacob's random responses *Brothers' hard work ethics *Roommates Boyfriends being gentlemen *Mom and Dad being steady as the sun *Work being so accommodating and generous *Laughter that makes the stomach ache *Hair that can change colors and still look incredible *Finding a love for cooking *Happiness and success in marriages *Bishop that listens *Freebees *Climbing up the stairs to bed *Advil *Letters *Whiteboarding life *Girls Nights *Favorites *Nail Polish *Blue eyes *Morning texts *Aunts teachings and patience *Clean house
I am grateful to Papa and Mom for their constant reminders of what truly matters in this life. I don't remember a time in my life when our doors weren't open to someone who had lost their way. Not only do they provide, with their meager incomes, physically for the lost but also emotionally and spiritually. They offer a foundation that is steady and unchanging, that found in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. They bare testimony each day of truth that guides them. They unabashedly stand for goodness each day. And again, this year, they take in another. Offering someone else their home, their time, their love.
I am grateful for the moments and the memories ...
"Moments are the molecules that make up eternity."
-Elder Neal A. Maxwell
Happy Thanksgiving.
10.11.11
Train Ride
I find myself falling asleep earlier than usual and waking up with a smile.
Life is pretty dang good. I told Pete about it yesterday as he was traveling across the country in a bus. I'll have to tell CA here shortly, I'm pretty sure he'll do a cartwheel. Matt (he doesn't like any nickname I've given him and after 10 years ... I'll let it be) is on the list but I'll wait until footie pajamas are on and hot chocolate is in hand. Ace and Robs are the same page, slowly warming up to the idea. Grams was thrilled as we chatted, Gramps trusts my judgement. I think that Papa will initially wonder but then get on the train.
I'm on the train, yep.
Oh, and Matt brought the Holiday Season on Saturday. I made hot chocolate, he made cheer ... fair trade. (The Holiday Season starts 1 November for me, it includes Thanksgiving ... back off judgers)
Life is pretty dang good. I told Pete about it yesterday as he was traveling across the country in a bus. I'll have to tell CA here shortly, I'm pretty sure he'll do a cartwheel. Matt (he doesn't like any nickname I've given him and after 10 years ... I'll let it be) is on the list but I'll wait until footie pajamas are on and hot chocolate is in hand. Ace and Robs are the same page, slowly warming up to the idea. Grams was thrilled as we chatted, Gramps trusts my judgement. I think that Papa will initially wonder but then get on the train.
I'm on the train, yep.
Oh, and Matt brought the Holiday Season on Saturday. I made hot chocolate, he made cheer ... fair trade. (The Holiday Season starts 1 November for me, it includes Thanksgiving ... back off judgers)
13.10.11
If it Happened on Greys ...
... it's real to me.
Do you remember as last year wrapped up when Lexie told Mark where she stands, where she'll always stand, where she wants to stand? I need to have this conversation but ... Adam will do it, I should just let Adam do it. He'd like to do it. It would at the very least put the nail in the promise. The words may not be as tempered but the point would certainly be made, with some color. They do fit though ... sometimes ... BLAH!
In other news ~ Favorite roommate of P2 got married yesterday. We were outside {BEAUTIFUL night here in this little place I call home} for the majority of the night decimating Favorite's side of the jeep {Bride's side was all clean per the request of Favorite}. It was good we were outside, I'm just not a stand-in-line-eat-the-creme-puff-appreciate-the-twinkly-lights-make-small-chat-with-the-random-aunt kind of girl. Favorite moment of Favorite's day? Well, it surely was the fact that P2 was certain my tights were zombie art {rather than the fall-ish flowers that they actually were} for a bit and was all sorts of thrilled ... true story.
Do you remember as last year wrapped up when Lexie told Mark where she stands, where she'll always stand, where she wants to stand? I need to have this conversation but ... Adam will do it, I should just let Adam do it. He'd like to do it. It would at the very least put the nail in the promise. The words may not be as tempered but the point would certainly be made, with some color. They do fit though ... sometimes ... BLAH!
In other news ~ Favorite roommate of P2 got married yesterday. We were outside {BEAUTIFUL night here in this little place I call home} for the majority of the night decimating Favorite's side of the jeep {Bride's side was all clean per the request of Favorite}. It was good we were outside, I'm just not a stand-in-line-eat-the-creme-puff-appreciate-the-twinkly-lights-make-small-chat-with-the-random-aunt kind of girl. Favorite moment of Favorite's day? Well, it surely was the fact that P2 was certain my tights were zombie art {rather than the fall-ish flowers that they actually were} for a bit and was all sorts of thrilled ... true story.
10.10.11
Papa's Girl but Mother's Daughter
I may be my Papa’s girl but I am my mother’s daughter. Proof?
Friday afternoon we had to go to the grocery store for the
supplies for Sunday’s dinner and the breakfast I was creating for a late second dinner that
evening. I hate the grocery store. This is not an unfounded feeling! It’s because I’m not there often enough to
know where things are and I end up wandering for many more minutes than would
be necessary if I knew the store. I was trying to put on a happy face, time was
short for us {per usual} and I did not want an ornery moment to ruin even a
minute. But we couldn’t find the pumpkin
puree. For three aisles I kept my mouth
shut. I scanned the shelves but could
find nothing and hiding my frustration vibes is impossible. Special words ran through
my mind but were not released. Finally
he asked, “Kas, do you want me to help you?”
I hid the roll of my eyes and nodded my head. He took the cart and led the way, back three
aisles. There on the second to last
shelf sat the puree. DANG HIM!! It was
at this moment that I expressed my HATRED for the grocery store. He did his best not to laugh in my face but
failed. It wasn't until we sat at dinner that I finally let go of my frustration and laughed about it all.
Saturday Doc and I made a trip to Tai Pan Wholesale {or
something to that end}. I was so excited
as the end result was Christmas but quickly got overwhelmed with all of the
pretty/sparkly/shiny/breaky items on the shelves {sticking out of the shelves
and hitting my head as I walked past}.
We went through a doorway and Christmas smacked us in the face. THERE WAS SO MUCH!! He was asked if I
liked a sort-of-sparkly-pinecone set or a super-sparkly-pinecone set and I replied the
sort-of-sparkly set with a bit of a frown on my face as I was not thrilled with the
sparkles. He picked up on that {I’m not
sure if he should get credit for being observant or if I should learn to have a
bit of a better poker face} and then pulled some non-sparkly-pinecones and said,
“These.” I smiled and said sincerely, “This
is why I keep you around Doc.” As my words escaped my mouth I immediately
heard a laugh. It was not the deep laugh
of Doc. It was almost a snorted laugh as
it was attempted to be stifled. I turned
to discover U {He was decked out in his Ute gear}, probably mid-thirties
slightly balding friend, following around his wife or sister. Then I started to
giggle, my anxiety of all of these decisions {silver/gold, pine/more pine,
thick ribbon/skinny ribbon, red/red {yep, two different reds} fading away into
nothing as SOMEONE understood. We still spent an hour roaming
those aisles but every 15 min or so U would walk by and we would share a mutual
understanding and nod. Please do NOT misunderstand, I am more than thrilled for my Christmas and more than thrilled for the time Doc and I spent laughing {as he was humorous as we walked through his happy place}. But I am not comfortable in this store, I don't have knowledge of things in this store. I have to ask so many questions and then be asked so many questions about my opinions. Even my credit card company thought it was funny that I
was there – they don’t deny my card at the clubs in LA at 2 am {purchasing
Coke} but the RED FLAGS go up when I’m at a wholesale ‘make house and home
pretty’ place … that made me laugh!
And then we have yesterday.
Sunday dinner. I do not claim to
be a chef/baker, in fact I often claim the contrary. But it’s fall, which is almost my
favorite. And it’s pumpkin taste time,
which is one of my favorite tastes. And
so for my family, which I love so very much, I cooked out of a pumpkin ~ for 12
people. As I listened to Christmas music
{putting me in a happy place for the cooking moments} I laughed, an apron clad
Kasi in her tights browning meat, gutting a pumpkin, and dicing the
onions. Only for those I love and only
if the presentation is appropriate.
21.9.11
Feet Firmly(ish) Planted Where I Am
Or something like that ... even though my initial reaction was more like this ...
In other news my A-team had a rather big night last night {understatement of the year}. Ace was on Raising Hope {found here} ~ just a Primetime television production with a Goonie. Adam produced playwright Lance Black's 8 ... on Broadway. Changing the world, taking a stand, making a difference. I may feel like this little blonde above inside 99% of the time but this devilishly good looking man below on the left, Doc, and the guy found at minute 18:15 in the HULU link above remind me to be brave, to keep my feet where I can grow.
The earth rotated this morning and the sun came into view, it was beautiful.
In other news my A-team had a rather big night last night {understatement of the year}. Ace was on Raising Hope {found here} ~ just a Primetime television production with a Goonie. Adam produced playwright Lance Black's 8 ... on Broadway. Changing the world, taking a stand, making a difference. I may feel like this little blonde above inside 99% of the time but this devilishly good looking man below on the left, Doc, and the guy found at minute 18:15 in the HULU link above remind me to be brave, to keep my feet where I can grow.
The earth rotated this morning and the sun came into view, it was beautiful.
17.9.11
I Love Matt
He's my favorite. 98 sleeps 'till Christmas {I'm counting} and two less 'till this face is on the big screen in a film I'm already certain will make me fall a bit more in love {I don't love Scarlett J in ANYTHING but Matt may be enough to help break me of that}.
Great ... Yes.
Great ... Yes.
15.9.11
Shirts
I have a new shirt. It's clean and fits really well. My other shirts, the ones I've had for years that are comfortable and smell like me, are wondering how long I'll be wearing the new shirt. After all, most of the time I throw new shirts in the laundry pile after a few weeks, refuse to do the laundry, and just find another new shirt. So it's not that the other shirts are unfounded in their wondering, it's just that it makes me frustrated with them, the other shirts.
I like that the new shirt isn't like the other shirts, its more casual, its a jersey tshirt of sorts. There are moments when I wonder about the fit, even though I've already decided it does fit, and I tug at it a bit. But there are also moments when I forget I'm wearing it because it just ... fits. Does that make sense? To me it does.
I've got other things to say ... lots of other things to say. But for today I just thought I'd tell you about my new shirt.
I like that the new shirt isn't like the other shirts, its more casual, its a jersey tshirt of sorts. There are moments when I wonder about the fit, even though I've already decided it does fit, and I tug at it a bit. But there are also moments when I forget I'm wearing it because it just ... fits. Does that make sense? To me it does.
I've got other things to say ... lots of other things to say. But for today I just thought I'd tell you about my new shirt.
29.8.11
Adoration and Reality
I adore the people that are in my life. That is how it should be as I have chosen to have them in my life. As of late I have decided to tell the Big Guy just who exactly I adore so much and why rather than asking for things. This new system keeps me on my knees a bit longer, causes me to wake up with a smile, and find a Hallmark to send to the human I vocally appreciated to the Heavens the night before. Last night, after a thunderstorm that I fell in love with a little bit, I remembered something I was told on Thursday, in his serious voice even, by the one I was being thankful for yesterday.
I may have randomly woken up others in my house as I was recounting this story late last night. He truly does make me laugh so hard, even days later, and I think that the Big Guy may have gotten just as big of a kick out of it ~ maybe even inspired him to say such a thing. And today as he checked in, he sent this picture above with the subject being "no, still not yours". Oh, I almost adore him as much as I adore John. I'll keep my people {and my hopes and dreams} ~ including John, thank you.
"Kas, John Krasinski isn't coming for you."
I may have randomly woken up others in my house as I was recounting this story late last night. He truly does make me laugh so hard, even days later, and I think that the Big Guy may have gotten just as big of a kick out of it ~ maybe even inspired him to say such a thing. And today as he checked in, he sent this picture above with the subject being "no, still not yours". Oh, I almost adore him as much as I adore John. I'll keep my people {and my hopes and dreams} ~ including John, thank you.
24.8.11
Summing up my Summer ...
My summer has been grand, truly. {I believe in using words like 'grand' and 'lovely' as they are not heard enough in a world of 'awesome' and 'cool'} People I love made eternal commitments to one another. I spent some time on my rock, at my Lake, with my family and a few of my people. I was able to see Cowboy catch a football and Girlfriend ride. I have managed to keep my job, keep my boss a bit more than thrilled with me, and the interventions from Work Family to a minimum. We spent a few long night up at the cabin, the stars have only been seen so clearly in Washington before that night. There was a nun at the LA symphonic performance that I wanted to put in my pocket for forever ~ can I have my own, please? Doc found that throwing me into bodies of water or twirling me around in the kitchen shuts me up or gets me talking but only for a moment. I'm now prepared for the Zombie Apocalypse. Uncle and family live within a forty-two minute drive now. There have been quiet moments at the House on the Hill. Long drives into the mountains followed by long walks where no words needed to be shared keep me grounded. Dinners in the 'city' make me appreciate friends that stick around. Binx and RM {which awkwardly enough are his actual initials but also the acronym for his nickname} keep me up until the moments just before dawn, allowing me to vent and be ridiculous. Babies have come. Quiet talks as we walk to the start of the hill and back to the far mailbox make me wonder but appreciate the miracles that still occur. Visits from soul mates and calls/texts/gchats with CA reminded me of promises I made that I should keep, always.
I'm going to runaway {RM said I can ~ parental units, take it up with him} a few more times before I unpack the fall clothes and start purchasing tights. Perhaps these jaunts will lead to a new destination of dwelling all together. Perhaps these jaunts will merely grant me a plethora of happy memories to hold tight to as a long winter is coming, to be sure. Summer 2011, you've been practically perfect.
I'm going to runaway {RM said I can ~ parental units, take it up with him} a few more times before I unpack the fall clothes and start purchasing tights. Perhaps these jaunts will lead to a new destination of dwelling all together. Perhaps these jaunts will merely grant me a plethora of happy memories to hold tight to as a long winter is coming, to be sure. Summer 2011, you've been practically perfect.
11.8.11
My View
It has been a while since I've updated this little space of mine {not the format, I like the colors and choosing a new one would lead to hours of searching for something perfect only to end up with something similar to what I have now ~ waste}. It is not that I haven't had anything to say ~ I just have been uncertain about how I feel about what I may be saying. Confused yet? Me too ... Well, kind of.
Tonight Binx had his final Bearproof performance down at this hot little place, almost as hot as the band, in Provo. I decided to make a late afternoon and evening of it and see some people I had been neglecting down in that Valley. Visiting with old and new friends {Betty, nickname given!} was fantastic. But I was a bit preoccupied.
My mind wasn't racing with tons of thoughts, just a few. Baldy {I can call him this as he is bald by choice} and Pumpkin keep a close eye on me and we were mid-text-conversation about the future, or my lack of knowledge regarding said time period. I was not sad, nor frustrated, just contemplative due to such. I parked Bleu at living Uncle's place and took a hike that my PT will not be thrilled with but which led to my other Uncle's place.
He's got the best view. I sat there for a bit and recounted aloud the events of the last little while ~ the weddings, the babies, the frustrations, the laughs, the reminders, the changes, the attempted changes, the moves ect. ect. ect. And then I sat there, quietly. I sat there for a longish period of time. I wasn't waiting for a particular thought or insight into my life. My mind was wandering over moments and I had no desire to reel it in. I'm not sure why I sat there for so long and I began to wonder what was keeping me tied to that bench with these drifting thoughts. Then the sun hit behind the flag {pictured above}. I don't know why this particular view struck me. Perhaps it was my Uncle's love for country, or far-away-Uncle serving in the middle of this war, or UT Uncle finally being close, or Papa sending his sweet non sequitur texts so consistently ... I don't know what it was. But as I stared out onto Happy Valley I began to recount all I have. I have so much. I'm not speaking of the things I have. I'm speaking in that grateful voice, the one my mother gets as she prays when all of us kids are home or Papa presents as he shares his testimony, as I say "I have so much." I'm seeing, for a moment, the bigger picture. My view is one He is granting me, full of hope and happiness, sketched in adventure and fun. Without a doubt there are windy roads leading to a destination I am not perfectly familiar with. But ultimately, it is where I want to be.
I took this moment up on that hill, with the sun setting behind Old Glory. Matt said, back when we celebrated his birthday, that this was the year of 'taking the moments' for him. As he said that I smiled and quietly took the challenge myself. Most of my 'moments' involve Harley sightings or a perfect moonrise. But tonight was perfect, it was my moment. I was granted, without me formally requesting it, a wider view on things ... perspective that I normally would have to borrow from Papa or Matt or Ace. It was mine this evening. I'll take that and hold on.
Tonight Binx had his final Bearproof performance down at this hot little place, almost as hot as the band, in Provo. I decided to make a late afternoon and evening of it and see some people I had been neglecting down in that Valley. Visiting with old and new friends {Betty, nickname given!} was fantastic. But I was a bit preoccupied.
My mind wasn't racing with tons of thoughts, just a few. Baldy {I can call him this as he is bald by choice} and Pumpkin keep a close eye on me and we were mid-text-conversation about the future, or my lack of knowledge regarding said time period. I was not sad, nor frustrated, just contemplative due to such. I parked Bleu at living Uncle's place and took a hike that my PT will not be thrilled with but which led to my other Uncle's place.
He's got the best view. I sat there for a bit and recounted aloud the events of the last little while ~ the weddings, the babies, the frustrations, the laughs, the reminders, the changes, the attempted changes, the moves ect. ect. ect. And then I sat there, quietly. I sat there for a longish period of time. I wasn't waiting for a particular thought or insight into my life. My mind was wandering over moments and I had no desire to reel it in. I'm not sure why I sat there for so long and I began to wonder what was keeping me tied to that bench with these drifting thoughts. Then the sun hit behind the flag {pictured above}. I don't know why this particular view struck me. Perhaps it was my Uncle's love for country, or far-away-Uncle serving in the middle of this war, or UT Uncle finally being close, or Papa sending his sweet non sequitur texts so consistently ... I don't know what it was. But as I stared out onto Happy Valley I began to recount all I have. I have so much. I'm not speaking of the things I have. I'm speaking in that grateful voice, the one my mother gets as she prays when all of us kids are home or Papa presents as he shares his testimony, as I say "I have so much." I'm seeing, for a moment, the bigger picture. My view is one He is granting me, full of hope and happiness, sketched in adventure and fun. Without a doubt there are windy roads leading to a destination I am not perfectly familiar with. But ultimately, it is where I want to be.
I took this moment up on that hill, with the sun setting behind Old Glory. Matt said, back when we celebrated his birthday, that this was the year of 'taking the moments' for him. As he said that I smiled and quietly took the challenge myself. Most of my 'moments' involve Harley sightings or a perfect moonrise. But tonight was perfect, it was my moment. I was granted, without me formally requesting it, a wider view on things ... perspective that I normally would have to borrow from Papa or Matt or Ace. It was mine this evening. I'll take that and hold on.
21.7.11
Simple
Love feels no burden, thinks nothing of trouble, attempts what is above its strength, pleads no excuse of impossibility; for it thinks all things lawful for itself, and all things possible.
Neil Gaiman
13.7.11
6.7.11
Some Stuff
My mind is in ninety-seven different places right now.
* After yelling at Sir on Sunday afternoon, I realized he was just attempting to get me to see what I already knew
* I don't mind spending time in the kitchen if I know the results will be appreciated
* New friends that seem like old friends are great
* I love my job
* Driving a manual is still a bit of an ego boost after thirteen years
* Hallmark doesn't have a card for everything, close but not everything
* I use children as buffers
* Fireworks make me smile, no matter what else may be going on
* Marriage looks good on my friends
* Ace has been gone for six months now
* Bitz is in Mexico for three weeks
* Nasty Neighbor was up when I got home at 3 this morning, his name is still accurate
* I don't know a lot about musical artists but I know I LOVE Alexi Murdoch, enough to want to name a son Murdoch {I do not jest, do not steal this or I will throw a fit} ... and I found him on my own
* Edna is no Bea but she's certainly pretty and making people happy
* When I have polka-dots on my toes I can go at least three extra weeks between addressing them as people are just so mesmerized by the dots and don't care about the chipping
* Talking to Papa is one of my favorite ways to go from afternoon into evening
* I feel like a Von Trapp child, "Uncle Max {and family}! Uncle Max {and family}! Uncle Max {and family}!" is going to be here in less than a month for good
* Encouraging people to do something daring makes me wonder what if I'd ever be willing to do the same thing or something equal to
* I haven't been a resident of Indiana in ten years
* Our cable is on the fritz, there is sound but no picture ... Buba is going to have to take care of that
* I'd rather people read my eyes than try to figure out what I'm trying to say
* My co-workers make me laugh all of the time
* It looks like E might be following R down a road that doesn't end up where she'd like to be, I'm not sure I can fix it but I'll talk to Bunk and see if he'll at least yell for me
* When my Grandfather has an opinion about something or someone it is unquestionable truth to me
* Rolling down a hill on a Sunday afternoon is still fun
* I'd probably go camping with a smile on my face and without a single whine if the stars were out
* I think hitting the high B in church is hilarious
* BWo and Bintzy are not in my life enough
* Yellow shoes, flats or heels, are happy shoes ~ not as happy as my Rainbows but pretty darn close and the only option if I'd like happy feet at work
* When I grow up I'd like to be able to knit a pair of booties for my child an hour before my brother's wedding without batting an eye
* Hearing Sir be human is for a moment unnerving but then hopeful
* Gas prices are going down-ish ... right?
* I know the people that created the Mormon Bachelorette and I'm proud to say that
* Girlfriend is too big to pickup but old enough to tell me exactly what she is thinking and feeling
* Being at my place with that company was better than I could have hoped for
* I'd like to be able to fix the world {and by world I mean my friends} with a personalized cake - each cake providing the hope and confidence that everyone needs to succeed and smile, or at least just smile ... One cake at a time I suppose
* Mom and Dad together makes my heart smile
* Having Cowboy with my dog back home is like a Rolo McFlurry ... FANTASTIC
* Being told to fight for something that I don't know how to fight for keeps me up at night
* Having two Bishops is really the best way to go about life, one for the kind and gentle pushing and one of the 'Kasi-go-take-what-you-should-already-have-because-you-should' is just the perfect balance
* Dried mangoes are my favorite
* Richard Samuel will always sing my favorite song
* I'll be seeing HP 7.2 twice within a twelve hour period next week ~ this speaks to the coolness of Buba and my job
* There is a music video for Fox Run in my mind
* The tomato-basil potato chips that Lays makes are FROM HEAVEN
* Some days the only thing to do is find the perfect spot on the couch with the train blanket and watch Sound of Music and the Office until sleep wins
* Pete got his badge ... legit badges are the new thing for me I think
* Wendy is probably my favorite 21 years old that likes pie
* The clouds are still hanging, not falling
* I like when people bring up Straight No Chaser and I can say, "Oh, Mike and Ryan? Yep, I know them"
* Tri-Cities never stops calling my name
* Spending time with Brandon and Stacy puts everything into perspective
* I'm a blonde even though every Tuesday and every other Saturday I seriously contemplate going dark again
* Seeing non-work email addresses in my work email when I get back from a meeting makes me remember that there is life out there
* He's not my type at all and yet here I am
* Maren and Jill are suppose to be in town this week or next with their children ... I will stalk them down
* Mt Shasta is another word for heaven
* My cousin Jacob truly is my favorite
* McKenna is coming with UNCLE MAX! and that means my room will be cleaner as I believe in supporting the rising generations shopping habits
* I am proud to say I can go {and do} five or six days between hair washings ~ I get complimented most on day 4 and 5
* I'm not sure why the pool right across from my door isn't open while the small one in the middle of the complex is
* I am a HORRIBLE judge of distance {ask Pete}
* Reading from the Doctrine and Covenants is still what I do
* Adam has David ... he beat me
* The new communicator at work is off-the-hook
* Still loving Alexi Murdoch
* Sir singing country music makes me smile from my country lovin' heart
* Buba is sure CBK will succeed while I question it at every turn
* I am jumpy ... always have been
* Leaving long messages is what I do
* Romney and I are already fighting, I think he knows it too
* Getting mail makes me almost as happy as sending it
* Boy & C & R and I are going to be great friends and Sir will take us on a road trip, it has to happen
* Schief is sporatic, at best but that's okay
* Shabby Apple hasn't come out with anything I love lately
* Darcy needs to live closer and she should probably bring Janna
* Greece is in the year plan
* Sir was so tired on Sunday he didn't say a word about the bow on my dress, I'll count that as a success {well, minus me yelling}
* Sleep will one day be important but until then ... who is up?
* After yelling at Sir on Sunday afternoon, I realized he was just attempting to get me to see what I already knew
* I don't mind spending time in the kitchen if I know the results will be appreciated
* New friends that seem like old friends are great
* I love my job
* Driving a manual is still a bit of an ego boost after thirteen years
* Hallmark doesn't have a card for everything, close but not everything
* I use children as buffers
* Fireworks make me smile, no matter what else may be going on
* Marriage looks good on my friends
* Ace has been gone for six months now
* Bitz is in Mexico for three weeks
* Nasty Neighbor was up when I got home at 3 this morning, his name is still accurate
* I don't know a lot about musical artists but I know I LOVE Alexi Murdoch, enough to want to name a son Murdoch {I do not jest, do not steal this or I will throw a fit} ... and I found him on my own
* Edna is no Bea but she's certainly pretty and making people happy
* When I have polka-dots on my toes I can go at least three extra weeks between addressing them as people are just so mesmerized by the dots and don't care about the chipping
* Talking to Papa is one of my favorite ways to go from afternoon into evening
* I feel like a Von Trapp child, "Uncle Max {and family}! Uncle Max {and family}! Uncle Max {and family}!" is going to be here in less than a month for good
* Encouraging people to do something daring makes me wonder what if I'd ever be willing to do the same thing or something equal to
* I haven't been a resident of Indiana in ten years
* Our cable is on the fritz, there is sound but no picture ... Buba is going to have to take care of that
* I'd rather people read my eyes than try to figure out what I'm trying to say
* My co-workers make me laugh all of the time
* It looks like E might be following R down a road that doesn't end up where she'd like to be, I'm not sure I can fix it but I'll talk to Bunk and see if he'll at least yell for me
* When my Grandfather has an opinion about something or someone it is unquestionable truth to me
* Rolling down a hill on a Sunday afternoon is still fun
* I'd probably go camping with a smile on my face and without a single whine if the stars were out
* I think hitting the high B in church is hilarious
* BWo and Bintzy are not in my life enough
* Yellow shoes, flats or heels, are happy shoes ~ not as happy as my Rainbows but pretty darn close and the only option if I'd like happy feet at work
* When I grow up I'd like to be able to knit a pair of booties for my child an hour before my brother's wedding without batting an eye
* Hearing Sir be human is for a moment unnerving but then hopeful
* Gas prices are going down-ish ... right?
* I know the people that created the Mormon Bachelorette and I'm proud to say that
* Girlfriend is too big to pickup but old enough to tell me exactly what she is thinking and feeling
* Being at my place with that company was better than I could have hoped for
* I'd like to be able to fix the world {and by world I mean my friends} with a personalized cake - each cake providing the hope and confidence that everyone needs to succeed and smile, or at least just smile ... One cake at a time I suppose
* Mom and Dad together makes my heart smile
* Having Cowboy with my dog back home is like a Rolo McFlurry ... FANTASTIC
* Being told to fight for something that I don't know how to fight for keeps me up at night
* Having two Bishops is really the best way to go about life, one for the kind and gentle pushing and one of the 'Kasi-go-take-what-you-should-already-have-because-you-should' is just the perfect balance
* Dried mangoes are my favorite
* Richard Samuel will always sing my favorite song
* I'll be seeing HP 7.2 twice within a twelve hour period next week ~ this speaks to the coolness of Buba and my job
* There is a music video for Fox Run in my mind
* The tomato-basil potato chips that Lays makes are FROM HEAVEN
* Some days the only thing to do is find the perfect spot on the couch with the train blanket and watch Sound of Music and the Office until sleep wins
* Pete got his badge ... legit badges are the new thing for me I think
* Wendy is probably my favorite 21 years old that likes pie
* The clouds are still hanging, not falling
* I like when people bring up Straight No Chaser and I can say, "Oh, Mike and Ryan? Yep, I know them"
* Tri-Cities never stops calling my name
* Spending time with Brandon and Stacy puts everything into perspective
* I'm a blonde even though every Tuesday and every other Saturday I seriously contemplate going dark again
* Seeing non-work email addresses in my work email when I get back from a meeting makes me remember that there is life out there
* He's not my type at all and yet here I am
* Maren and Jill are suppose to be in town this week or next with their children ... I will stalk them down
* Mt Shasta is another word for heaven
* My cousin Jacob truly is my favorite
* McKenna is coming with UNCLE MAX! and that means my room will be cleaner as I believe in supporting the rising generations shopping habits
* I am proud to say I can go {and do} five or six days between hair washings ~ I get complimented most on day 4 and 5
* I'm not sure why the pool right across from my door isn't open while the small one in the middle of the complex is
* I am a HORRIBLE judge of distance {ask Pete}
* Reading from the Doctrine and Covenants is still what I do
* Adam has David ... he beat me
* The new communicator at work is off-the-hook
* Still loving Alexi Murdoch
* Sir singing country music makes me smile from my country lovin' heart
* Buba is sure CBK will succeed while I question it at every turn
* I am jumpy ... always have been
* Leaving long messages is what I do
* Romney and I are already fighting, I think he knows it too
* Getting mail makes me almost as happy as sending it
* Boy & C & R and I are going to be great friends and Sir will take us on a road trip, it has to happen
* Schief is sporatic, at best but that's okay
* Shabby Apple hasn't come out with anything I love lately
* Darcy needs to live closer and she should probably bring Janna
* Greece is in the year plan
* Sir was so tired on Sunday he didn't say a word about the bow on my dress, I'll count that as a success {well, minus me yelling}
* Sleep will one day be important but until then ... who is up?
29.6.11
Productive Day to Casey Jones to Xavier
I got done what I could, truly.
Then, just moments ago, Boy shot me an email. See below
... below ...
You can't click on those links, so I'll help you. Both are to IMDB. The first takes you to the Teenage Mutan Ninja Turtles (1990), where you {if you are me and are following instructions} will note Casey Jones, played by Elias Koteas. Then, if you continue to follow instructions, will go to the next site, which is the IMDB site for a show called Combat Hospital (TV Series 2011). You will then spend a minute trying to connect this ~ and WHAM! The Colonel Xavier Marks ~ kind of already in love with the name ~ is played by none other than my Casey Jones!!
It's things like this that make me smile. Will I watch? I don't know, I'm not quite ready to commit ~ I'm just kind of thrilled that Casey Jones is alive and well and fixing the good guys over in the desert ~ because on the off chance that someone had asked me where he was that is EXACTLY where I would have said!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
